Don't say you love me
by Scetchbook123
Summary: Human!stuck Karkat is a fairly normal highschool senior. But when his friend sets him up with a younger girl will he overlook the age difference? Nepeta is a amateur artist living with her sister, after their parents died she decided to live life to the fullest! Will the now boy comes into her life help that cause or slow it down? T for good reason
1. Chapter 1: I got you a date

_*Beep* *Beep* *Beep*_

Ugh. I hate that alarm clock. I hit the snooze button and slowly roll out of bed.

I step over the pile of junk I never remember to get rid of and open my closet.

I hate winter. At least my favorite shirt is long sleeve. I grab the black turtle neck and throw it on my bed behind me. Next I grab some gray jeans and throw those on top of the shirt.

Once I finish changing I walk out of my room and head straight to the fridge.

There's a note attached the door. I rip off and throw it away without reading it. I grab the milk. Then go to the pantry, another note I wont read. I grab the cereal and look at the cabinet How many notes did he write this time? God, stupid brother. I open the cabinet and grab a bowl. There's one in it to.

I pull it out and pour the cereal into the bowl... You have to be fucking kidding me. He put a note in the god damn cereal. Fine I'll read it.

"_Good morning brother. I trust you slept well? I wrote this note so many times over that my hand has now gotten tired. I know how persistent you can be. I would like you to tidy the house while I'm gone, I wont be there until this evening. You still have school today but I want you to head straight home after it. Alright? It would be very helpful if the house could be clean when I return. I know your room is rather messy at the moment so I set the vacuum cleaner next to your door so you can vacuum after removing that strange smelly pile of.. I don't know what. Honestly Karkat, I don't even want to know how you can stand to sleep in that room. Well, by the time you are finishing this you will probably need to get going so I will end this note here so that you have a few more minutes at least. Have a good day and don't forget to clean! When I trust you with things like this I expect you to do them._

_~Kankri_"

Oh my god. It never ends! He is such a pain! If I could, I would live on my own. But I'm still in high school I refuse to go back with my dad so Kankri is my only option.

He is right about me needed to go by the time it was over. The ass hole never shuts up! It drives me insane! But he doesn't even know it. I'm normally late by the time his note ends. But I'm not today, by the time I get to school I will be though. I shove on my sneakers and head outside.

I always walk. Yeah yeah yeah 17 year old who doesn't have a car. Lame right?

I'm saving up for one though. It's not like I don't have a license. I work at a pet shop.

I'm not very good with animals though. I mostly just clean up after them, pretty shitty job if you ask me. But it pays ok and I don't have many other options. I don't really know any of my co-workers, I don't care who else works there if I am only there part time.

I arrive at school. Late as always, don't get me wrong. I'm not some punk douche bag who doesn't care about anything. I actually care about a lot of things. For instance, my grades are mostly Bs and a few As on a good day. I also love rom coms! If you look in the corner of my room I have a very organized very tall stack of movies. I don't want it to fall so there are 2 more stacks near the same size so it is a pretty stable base. I also have some friends, so I'm not a lame loner either.

My best friend is Gamzee, well. He always calls me his best friend but he is kinda like a monkey I look after. He doesn't really have family so I watch out for him. He is always high so I don't think I make much of a difference in his choices. I hang out with Sollux a lot. He is a freak genius

Straight As, not because he cares about grades though. It is just that easy. He has 2 computers in his room, his laptop which he takes everywhere. And whatever the fuck a normal computer is called.

He is a serious hacker, making codes and hacking in to whatever he wants, that's pretty much all he does all day. He is almost as pale as me and I'm fucking albino! I mean, it get's pretty wet and cloudy here in the winter so right now you can't blame him. But in the summer and spring he goes out even less. I guess he doesn't like the sun all that much. Whatever.

Now, I'm supposed to explain details about school here right? Talk about my classes? Fuck that shit. Am I the only one who finds that completely dumb? Who cares!

Now let's skip to the part where I talk to people.

I'm sitting at my usual table for lunch. Sollux sits on the opposite side of the table. "Thup Kk." He says as he sets his tray of food down. I forgot to mention that didn't I? He has a lisp.

"Hey Sol." I reply. "Still not giving up the nick name huh?" I ask. "Nope. Maybe when you thtop introducing me to people ath Tholly I'll think about it." He answers. "Come on, that's funny." I reply.

"No it ithn't, maybe the firtht time it wath. But they think that'th my fucking name and it taketh forever to get thomeone to fix it." He says. "Whatever." I reply. "Lithten, I met thith girl and-" He starts to say.

"You are NOT dumping Feferi already?" I ask. He has girl issues. First it was Aradia, but then she got in a accident. And she's still in recovery but he says she is like a different person, that she's not the same as she used to be. He ended up with Feferi, and now I don't even know what happened to Aradia. "No, I'm not douche bag. I met her at a party and she wants to meet you." He replies. "... What the fuck did you do?" I ask.

"Nothing! I talked to her for a bit, she said she was single and I told her I had a single friend. And your going out with her Tomorrow." He answers. What the fuck is wrong with this douche bag!?

"You are kidding me right? You better be fucking kidding me." I say, he shakes his head.

"God Sollux! You are such a annormous fucker! Was your head in your ass?!" I yell. "Nope." He replies. He is used to my constant yelling so he knows not to be offended. "Besides knowing me I will make the girl cry before the food gets to us." I say. "Don't worry Kk, I told her you were kinda grouchy so she knows what to expect. And she is a sweet girl, she might make you laugh. You wouldn't brake her heart before meeting her would you?" He replies. "God you ass. I'll go on the fucking date but what the hell did you fucking tell her?" I ask. "Just that your a touchy grouch. But if she can make you laugh I will give her a metal." He answers. "You ass hat." I reply and throw a chip at him. "Where is the shitty thing gonna be at anyway?" I ask. "That hipther cafe down the block." He answers with a snicker. "No! I hate that place! You did not do that!" I yell. "But I did." He replies. Fucking hell. "You didn't tell her I like that place did you?" I ask. He grins

"You bastard" I say. "Don't worry Kk, it wath her idea. She hangth out there." He replies.

"Greeeaat. A hipster chick. You sure can pick them." I say. "She ithn't a hipster. At leatht I don't think she ith." He replies. "Whatever." I say.

Let's move on!

I walk through the door to the apartment and flop down on the couch. This place is kinda messy..

Shit I'm supposed to clean this place. Ugh. I go ahead and vacuum and remove the pile of trash and shit from my room. I would like to spite him but if I don't do it I will never hear the end of it.

Seriously. The guy never shuts up!

After cleaning I get ready to watch "The Vow" but my phone beeps.

:33 Hello!

WHO ARE YOU?

:33 I'm Nepeta! Sollux gave me your number

OH, YOU. RIGHT.

:33 Is something wrong?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABO- OH, THE ALL CAPS THING. I JUST LIKE TO USE CAPS LOCK.

:33 Oh ok! Well, I wanted to plan a time with you, for tomorrow.

IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER TO ME. I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER PLANS.

:33 Ok, how about 5? An hour after school

YOUR SCHOOL DOESN'T LET OUT UNTIL 4?

:33 Your lets out earlier?

AT 2:30

:33 Oh! What school do you go to?

:33. Hmm.. what year are you?  
HE DIDNT EVEN TELL YOU? IM A SENIOR  
:33. Oh gosh! Well that explains it! I heard seniors get our earlier there..  
WHAT DO YOU MEAN OH GOSH?  
:33. I'm a softmor  
SAY WHAT. HOW DID YOU END UP AT THE SAME PARTY AS SOLLUX?  
:33. My older sister brought me there, her friend was throwing it and I don't like being home alone..  
SHIT. WAIT. DOES SOLLUX KNOW? DID HE DO THIS TO MESS WITH ME?  
:33. I told him, but he was kinda drunk so he might have forgotten. And it's only a few years anyway

-Hold on. This girl is ok with dating someone older then she is? Does she even know what I could get her into? Oh my god. She is so innocent! This is going to end badly.-  
WHATEVER... SHIT MY BROTHER JUST GOT HOME. ILL SEE YOU TOMORROW  
:33. Ok, bye Karkitty!

Did she just call me Karkitty? That's worse then Kk!  
"Hello bother." Kankri greets me as he scans the house. "Hi Kankri." I reply with frustration in my voice.  
"I see you cleaned like I requested. I appreciate it. And tomorrow I heard that there was going to be quite the get together on campus so if you would like to come with me you are more then welcome to." He says. "Sure sounds like fun. But I have a date at 5." I reply. "A date? Now Karkat how could you not tell me you were dating? This is such a huge life step-" I cut him off.

"I've dated before! Don't be so obnoxious for God's sake."  
"Well alright.. what are you watching tonight? I've trusted you have finished your homework." He replies. "I'm watching "The Vow" I answer. "Lovely selection. Might I join you?" He asks.

"Whatever. But don't talk through it like last time." I say. "I did no such thing! I simply Pointed out flaws in the film making errors and sduhfjnf eruh feiufhe ifha ifihfiefh iefhiehf iehfeifh iufheiufehf iufhihiehrfieuhf efhuih rfiuueh frh iuhrf iuerh fiurhf iurfh iurhfiehf eifheirufh eiufh " Eventually, as always. His words slurr together in my mind, despite her articulate speech.

"Kankri! Shut the fuck up! Your doing it again! For fucks sake!" I shout.

"Oh, my bad. I will try to be quiet for the rest of the film." He says. "Thank you." I say and sink into the couch. I hope tomorrow goes well at least...


	2. Chapter 2: I'm late!

I can't believe I'm gonna do this. I'm going on a date, with a girl from another school, who I have never met, and is 2 years younger then me. No I'm not leaving yet. I still have a few hours since I she doesn't get out of school for another hour anyway.

Ugh. Am I supposed to dress up at all? Nah. Seems pointless. It's just a cafe.

I'll just wear my normal turtle neck and jeans. I have time for a movie.. Not a good idea.

I can get on chat though.

CG HEY GAMZ

WeLl HeY tHeRe My MoThEr FuCkInG bEsT bRo

CG DO YOU HAVE TO USE THAT WEIRD TYPING QUIRK? IT IS ANNOYING AS FUCK TO READ.

It'S cOoL mAn. I jUsT lIkE iT

CG WHATEVER. ANYTHING NEW?

I mAdE sOmE mOtHeR fUcKiNg FaYgO cUpCaKeS

CG WHY DO YOU LIKE THAT SHIT? IT TASTES LIKE ASS. FISSY ASS.

SuIt YoUr SeLf BrO

CG WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT? KANKRI AND I ARE GOING TO A PARTY AT HIS COLLAGE. YOU CAN MEET US THERE IF YOU WANT.

SuRe BrO! WhEn Is It?

CG UH. I DON'T KNOW. I'LL TEXT YOU THE DETAILS SO YOU DON'T FORGET THEM.

ThAnKs BrO.

CG SURE. I'M GONNA GO NOW. TRY NOT TO PUKE BEFORE YOU EVEN START DRINKING AT THE PARTY. THAT WOULD JUST BE SAD.

AlRiGhT

Well that was as weird as ever. He would be a lot less annoying if he didn't type like that.

At least he isn't crazy when he's high. He just doesn't make sense. That's probably why he wears that stupid face paint. He never stops being fucking high. Maybe I should invite Sol to. He likes parties.

CG HEY SOL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?

TA Nothiing why? Waiit, are you blowiing off Nepeta?

CG NO, I'M NOT A FUCKING DOUCHCE. AFTER OUR DATE I'M GOING TO A PARTY WITH KANRI, GAMZEE IS GONNA MEET US THERE. YOU WANNA COME TO?

TA 2ure II gue22, can II briing Fef?

CG I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHO YOU BRING. BUT ARE YOU SURE? SHE'S KINDA DELECATE.

TA Po22iitiive. 2He ii2 hiilariious when 2he driink2. All "Fuck da poliice!" and 2hiit.

CG WHATEVER. WANNA TEAM UP WITH ME TO GET KANKRI TO DRINK? I BET HE WILL BE HILARIOUS.

TA You haven't 2een hiim driinkiing before? Yeah II'll help!

CG NO ONE HAS SEEN HIM DRINK. I DON'T THINK HE HAS EVER TRIED IT!

TA 2eriiou2ly?! Oh my god, he ii2 2uch a goody two 2hoe2!

CG YEAH. I HAVE TO GET GOING. SEE YA TONIGHT.

TA See ya Kk

Now that was a better conversation I don't really need to go yet. But I guess I can just play music and zone out for a hour or two.

"Karkat... Karkat.." Kankri is standing over me. "Kankri what the fuck?" I ask.

I'm laying in bed.. "Didn't you say you had a date tonight?" He asks.

Wait... FUCK. "Shitting hell! What time is it?" I ask. "Almost 5:30." He answers.

"Shit I'm late!" I yell. Panic attack! God, umm.. "Well of coarse you are. You fell asleep. You should really be more careful about what you do to kill time and-" He starts blabbing.

"Kankri shut the fuck up and get out of my way." I say as I head for the door. "I'll be expecting you home by 8:30 so we can go to the get together." He says as I walk out. I start running to get there before she leaves. It takes me 10 more minutes to get there. I storm through the door of cafe.

Very cozy place but it is so stuffed with Hipsters and their junk I can't stand it.

I look around for Nepeta.. Shit I don't even know what she looks like. "Karkat?" I hear a girl ask. Must be her. I look down at her, she is a inch or 2 shorter then me. She has short, wavy dark brown hair. She's wearing light brown jeans, a black T-shirt, and a dark green jacket. And is that.. A blue cat hat? Oh my god. She is a freak. Wait. Can I even say that? I'm albino for god's sake!

"Uh, Nepeta?" I ask. "Hehe! Yup!" She answers. "Sorry I'm so late, I fell asleep waiting for time to pass." I explain. He just giggles. "It's fine, the coffee here is really good so I don't mind waiting." She is so cheery... "Oh, ok. Well, where do we sit?" I ask. "Over here." She says and leads me to a small table. Once we sit down I see a open sketch book of hers sitting on the table.

"What's that?" I ask. "Oh, just some drawings I made. You can look if you want." She says and hands the book over to me. I flip through the pages. They are seriously good. Most of them are of the cafe, they make this place look actually cool. Some are outside pictures, but from where I'm siting she made them from in here. From this table probably. "These are really good." I say. I look up from the book and see her blushing ever so slightly, and looking down at the table, then at me, then at the table.

I close the book and hand it back to her. She takes it and puts it in her brown, cross body bag that I didn't know she had until now. "So, seeing as this is basicly a blind date, tell me something about yourself." I say. "Well.. What do you want to know? I'm a pretty open book." She replies.

"Uh. What's your family like?" I ask. "Well. I live with my older sister, Meulin. She has her boyfriend/best friend I'm not really sure what they are anymore. And we get along really well, we have almost all the same interests. But she only draws ships." She answers. "Ok, a few questions. One, ships?" I ask. "Oh, we love shipping! We have gone through every fandom we are interested in and found the most canon ships! That's the only art she does, and we love to help each other write fanfiction!" She answers. Holy shit. She is weirder then me after all. What the fuck.

"But I can only help her, we write slightly different things. Always romance but.. She prefers slightly more... *Sighs* Mature stories." She continues. I'm pretty sure a shiver just went up my spine. I'm getting creeped out. "Oh.." I say. "Umm. What was the other question?" She asks.

"Oh right, well. You said you live with your sister, clearly she is a senior if her friend threw a party Sollux went to. How are you aloud to live with her and not your parents?" I ask. She looks at the table, her arms stiffen slightly as her grip on the sides of her chair tightens. "Our parents died the year before last. In a fire, on new years too... We had to move into a apartment and since her birth certificate was burned we said she was older then she is so we could live on our own." She says. Oh shit. Sensitive topic. It would be for me too. "That really sucks.. Sometimes I wish my dad was dead." I reply. She looks up at me. "He drinks himself senseless so much I feel like we're just waiting for him to crash any day now. He screams a lot. I live with my older sibling to. My brother." I continue. She looks frustrated. She stands up, hair blocking her eyes, hands in fists. She slaps me across the face. Fuck she's strong. "How can you say that?.. Do you have any idea what it is like to loose your family?.. How can you say something like that?! Like you don't even value his life! Every second you live if special! Everyone's life means something! He may be a drunk but at least he does what he wants! What was the last thing you did for yourself?! I bet you just sit around all day being a unhappy self loathing douche bag! I know drinking isn't a good thing to do for yourself but-" She stops talking when I grab her wrist. "Calm down. I'm sorry. I didn't know it was something you took so seriously." I say. She looks up at me, now I can actually see her eyes, she was on the edge of crying. By the amount of passion in her voice I can't believe she wasn't sobbing.

"Yeah. I know. Most people don't know, or get it. But I try to make everything I do mean something." She says. Looking straight ahead of her instead of at my face now. "But that way, life's a lot more fun!" She says, reverting back to her happy stage. "I kinda flew off the handle didn't I? I'm sorry." She says. "It's ok. No harm done." I say. If she wasn't so upset over the topic I bet I would have blown a fuse. We both sit back down. "So, how about we talk about something fun? What do you like to do?" She asks. "Rom coms." I answer as fast as someone could. "Rom coms? Which ones do you like?!" She asks, full of excitement "A better question would be, which don't I like. I am pretty much the expert on everything romance, and drama." I answer, full of pride. As I should be!

"Oh my gosh! This is great! I have been trying to get my best friend to watch some but he says they are to girly. Now I have proof! Not only girls like them! Oh my gosh! You have to show me your collection next time!" She says. Next time? I don't see why not. "Sure. Seeing as how we need to keep the question ball rolling here, what are your hobbies? Besides shipping, drawing, and rom coms I guess." I ask. "Well, I love to climb trees, and I go to the park a lot! I love animals, so I work at a pet shop. Cats are my favorite but I haven't met an animal that hasn't liked me." She says. Gosh this girl has energy. "Wait, a pet store? Which one?" I ask. "Oh, It's just down the block. Not very far at all."

She answers. "Michel's?" I ask. "Yeah." She answers. "Heh, small world. I work there to." I say. Her face lights up with joy. Kinda cute, but also creepy. "No way! Oh my gosh! What do you do there?! I'm the animal expert! Well, Jr. Animal expert." She asks. "I just clean the cages and shit. I know nothing about animals." I answer. "You will learn from the master! Someday." She says.

I chuckle. We continue like this for hours. It is actually fun. I thought Sollux was punking me.

After a while I get a text from Kankri.

Karkat, it is time to go, I'm going to pick you up on the way.

OK... CAN I BRING NEPETA?

I don't see why not, but are you sure? I heard there is alcohol and I don't want her to get in trouble.

IT WILL BE FINE.

Alright. If your sure.

SEE YOU IN A MINUTE

"Hey, do you wanna come with me and Kankri to a party? It's at his collage so only if you want to." I ask. "I would love to! Don't worry. I've been to some.. Interesting parties with Muilen." She answers. "Cool, he's gonna pick us up any minute, and then Sollux and my friend Gamzee will be meeting us there." I explain. "Ok!" She replies.

In just a few minutes of more laughing Kankri pulls up. "Oh, he's here." I say. We grab our things and head out to his car.


	3. Chapter 3: Party time! Or is it?

I open the door for her and let her in the passenger seat. I climb into the back and I sit at an angle with my feet on the back of Kankri's headrest, and the rest of me comfortably leaning back. "Hello miss Nepeta." Kankri says. "It is a pleasure to meet you." He continues.

"It's nice to meet you too Kankri. Heehee!" She replies. "Karkat you really should sit properly and put on a seat belt." He says as he turns his head to look at me. "Now Kankri. Has your asking ever made me sit properly?" I ask. "No." He answers. "Exactly." I say. Nepeta just giggles.

"I like your sweater Kankri. The red portrays a lovely sense of flush and feeling without being to obvious of that fact." Nepeta says. My eyes widen. Shit, she speaks snob! "Why thank you Nepeta! Karkat always thought it looked like bright blood but I see you have some true brains on color schemes" He replies. "Thank you." She says. "You can see the blood aspect though can't you?" I ask.

"Well I can see it. But the color is to bright. Blood is a darker shade. And if it was to be a puddle of blood it would have to be really dark." She answers. "True true. She sees the blood part! What do you say to that Kankri!?" I ask as I gloat Clearly I didn't actually want him to reply. But knowing him, I wait a second to realize he is going to. And he does. "Did you even listen to the rest of her answer? Honestly Karkat, you should really pay more attention to things people are saying if you ever want to get a real relationship with anyone. And further more I think you should pay close attention from now on to fully understand people and save the risk of triggering them It could really mess up a relation shop with someone and annoy them deeply because if you don't know what they are talking about sjdnfiuerh guerhhgeuirhg iihg ehg eiugh ih ihguirehgiuehgeng hgh gh ghebfwaf "

"Oh my god Kankri! For the love of fuck! You are doing it AGAIN!" I shout. "Karkat you shouldn't yell in front of a lady-.. Oh, we're here." He replies. Thank god we got here when we did.

I get out and open Nepeta's door for her. "Thanks." She says. I just nod.

I see Sollux and Gamzee walking to the front door of the college. "Wait up!" I shout. They both turn around and wait for us. "Hey Kk. And nice to thee you again Nepeta." Sollux says. "Hey best bro!" Gamzee says. "Nice to see you too Sollux... Oh my gosh!" She says.

"What?" I ask. "Hi Gamzee!" She says. "... Oh hey sis!" He replies. She jumps up to hug him. He is a tall guy as it is, not to mention the fact she is younger and short. It's kinda a big jump to get her arms around his neck. He spins her a round a little bit while Sollux and I give each other confused looks. "Wee!" She yells. He sets her back on the ground. She looks at me and back at him.

"Oh! My sister is dating his older brother! We see each other pretty often." She explains.

"Oh, that explains a lot." I say. So, I work with her, Sollux knows her sister's friend, and her sister is dating Gamzee's brother. How have I not met her before? "Thmall world." Sollux says.

"No kidding!" She replies. We all walk in to the party and it is already going nuts.

"I'm gonna get me some mother fucking punch. Want some sis?" Gamzee asks her.

"No thanks." She replies. "Kk, can I talk to you for a thecond." Sollux says and pulls me aside. "How old ith thith girl? Are you thure she will be ok here?" He asks. "She said she has been to plenty of parties with her sister. So she should be fine. And by the way, how drunk were you when you met her? She said she told you she was a sofmore. How could you not remember that?!" I ask.

"It wathn't bad. Jutht enough to forget I gueth." He answers. I look over at her.

She is starting to walk off and over to the table with all the snacks. She is completely calm, just a small smile. I walk follow her over there. By the time I wriggle by way through the crowd she has moved.

For fucks sake! Hold still! She is now sitting on the only place there is to sit, besides the floor.

A table... A fucking table... Does she have any idea what people are going to say?! There will be people all night asking for a table dance! I finally get to her. "Why are you on a fucking table of all things?!" I ask. "Where else can I sit?" She asks. Good point.. But still!

"You do realise what's going to happen though. Don't you?" I ask. "Yes, the same thing that happens at every party. Someone will ask for a table dance, I will say no. They will mess with me and they will have their asses kicked. Weather it is by me or someone else, it always happens that way." She says. "You kick people's asses?" I ask. "I did once. But every other time either Muilen or Gamzee is here to do it for me. I don't really need to worry." She answers. "That's good then. Gamzee at a lot of the parties your sister brings you to?" I ask. "Yeah, since she is with his brother they go to a lot of the same places. And Gamzee, as you know, loves parties so I just hang out with him at these things." She answers. Wow. She is more mellow here then before. I guess the crazy annoys her. Strange since she is full of energy. "I'm gonna go make sure Sollux isn't over doing it yet, be right back." I say and walk off. "Hey Sol. Want to get Kankri some punch?" I ask. "Of coarthe!" He replies. We both walk over to him, he isn't good at parties so he is over in a corner. "Hey Kankri. Want to know how to have a blast at these things?" I ask. "I am not dancing!" He says.

"You don't have to. They jutht filled the punch with thugar inthtead of beer. Drink thith. Get you a thugar rush and you'll be the life of the party." Sollux says and hands him a cup. ".. Your sure?" He asks. "Of coarse!" I answer. "Well, alright. A little sugar wouldn't hurt liven the mood." He says and drinks it down. "Feel free to get more..." Sollux says and we turn around, holding in the laughter until we are farther away. But before we even start walking some guy jumps off of whatever and lands right in front of Nepeta.

She looks at him, still mellow. "Are you ok?" She asks as he stands up. "Sure will be as soon as you start dancing." He replies. "That's not what I'm here for. Try someone else." She says politely.

"But your already on the table and everything!" He whines. "Go away please." She says. Sollux and I start trying to get over there. "Come on! Have you even had any punch yet? I bet if you have some you'll be the life of the party!" He says. "No thank you. Go away or else." She replies.

"Or else what?" He asks and grabs her arms. "Let go of me!" She shouts. Finally I make it, just in time. "Let her go ass hat." I say. "And if I don't? What are you gonna do shorty?!" He yells.

I grin and elbow the side of his head. He lets go of her and turns to me. "Your gonna regret that!" She yells. "No I wont." I reply. He tries to throw a punch, I duck and upper cut his jaw. He falls back, but a couple more drunken goons come up behind me. I turn around to see them standing there. Tall bastards. One throws a punch, a actually fast, strong one. He knocks me to the ground. Gamzee and Sollux come up behind them "You sure about that mother fuckers?" Gamzee asks. They start throwing punches at them. A full our brawl starts. I don't take long to get up and join them. Not long at all. One breaks a bottle and tries to stab Gamzee. He, being the bad ass fighter he is, dodges it. He knocks the guy down and the bottle gets swung, cutting across his face. Sollux pretty much just pounds the guy he has to deal with, taking a few hits to the gut first. The jackass I have to fight is no tougher then the others. He takes a swing, I duck and hit the side of his knee. He goes down and I hit his head until he falls all the way down with the others. I look at Nepeta, I didn't know we had moved this far away during the fight. We are a bit farther away then the middle of the room while he is still on the round table in the corner. The first douche bag attacked her, her has her arms and pined her down on the table.

She kicks his gut and knees his head. Now that he is off of her she sits up and hops off the table. I see a flash of I don't know what in her eyes. Fear? Trauma? Joy? I don't have a clue but it is to late to find out now, she closed her eyes for the next blow. She round house kicks his head and he hits the wall, then slides down to the floor. We all just stood there watching her bad ass moves.

A bunch of people are watching her actually. And us. "You can continue with your party now, sorry for the fight." She says and smiles. "I think we should go." I say. We all walk out and back to the parking lot. "Are you sure your ok?" I ask her. "Yup. I didn't get hurt. But you on the other hand. We are doing some first aid on you Karkitty!" She replies. I roll my eyes and look at Gamzee and Sollux. Some blood dripping down Gamzee's face from the bottle. A line of blood coming out of Sollux's mouth from the gut blows. "Maybe I should fix you all up." She says. We all sit down and she cleans our blood. First Sollux. "I heard you were gonna invite your girlfriend. I'm glad she wasn't here for that." she says. "Yeah.." He replies. I watch her as she gently wipes off the blood from Gamzee's face. "Your taking this well. Last time you got hurt you said it stung when I was cleaning it." She says. Last time? Oh yeah. She said he protects her at parties. He must get into a lot of fights for her. "Nah, this time you just using water. That motherfucking spray stings like hell." He replies.

"Hehe. Well, try not to touch the cuts until they heal. They might leave scars." She says and stands up. "Alright, thanks sis." He says and walks off with Sollux. Nepeta kneels down in front on me and starts wiping away the blood. "Nose bleed and a cut on your temple. You probably got the hardest to treat things." She says. "Are you crazy, Gamzee got cut with a beer bottle." I reply.

"Yeah but nose bleeds are a pain to treat, all he needed was to get it wiped down with water. You need a tissue since it won't stop bleeding. How hard did they hit you?" She asks. "Didn't feel that hard. So I don't know." I reply. "... Where's Kankri?" She asks... Umm.. "Fuck! He is still in there! Shit, he could be drunk by now! I'd better go get him." I say and start to stand up but she grabs my sleeve.

My heart beats faster now. "Hang on a minute." She says. I sit back down. Why do I feel so nervous?

"You can't go anywhere until I finish fixing you up." She says. Oh. Right. My blood.

I make eye contact with her, and he smiles. "I never noticed your eyes were so red." She says.

"Well, albino. Here." I reply. "That's pretty cool." She says. We both lean in for a kiss.. And some drunken douche bag walking by throws around beer cans and nails her in the head. She falls over.

"Nepeta! Shit! Umm.." I say. She got knocked out. I pick her up and put her in the car. I race back to the party to get Kankri. "Kankri! We have to g-" I start yelling. I see him against a wall. Making out with a girl, a pretty one to. Yeah, he's drunk. I walk over to him, I feel bad for the guy, but with his stupid celibacy thing, if I let it end up in a bedroom it would not go over well. "Kanrki we have to go." I say. He ignores me. Well, if I was gonna have to watch him be drunk I want to show him and Sollux. I pull out my cell phone and start recording. Yup, sloppy make outs, on tape. I push her off of him and pull him out with me. "We gotta go man." I say. "But the sugar water was so goood." He wines as I pull him down the hall. "I know it tastes good but we have to go home." I reply. "Ok. Karkat, is that girl you brought still here?" He asks. "She is in the car." I answer. "You left her in the car? Did you dump her? You can't go to party and leave her in the car! You ass hole!" He says. God his words sound slurred. "She is just waiting there for us so we can leave." I reply. "But Karkat! You sleeze ball! You can't make me sit there with you two! You are a freak!" He yells. "What the fuck are you talking about?" I ask. "I refuse to listen to your sexual encounters!" He yells. "Oh my fucking god. There will not be any sexual encounters. You are so retarded." I reply. "Did she dump you?" He asks. He is still a nosy bastard. But it is more entertaining at least. That's why I still have the phone recording him.

"No she didn't. She fell asleep and we need to take her back to her house." I say.

"And your going to attack her in her sleep?! You pervert!" He yells. "What the fuck are you saying? I am not going to touch her. For a guy sworn to celibacy you are a pervert when your drunk." I say.

We get to the car, I stop recording, throw him in the back seat. And take her home. Still sleeping, I pick her up and take her to the front door of her apartment. I ring the doorbell a few times. Her sister opens it. "What the furrick?!" She asks when she sees her sleeping sister in the arms of a stranger.

"Sorry she was out so late, I swear no one touched her." I say. She takes her from he and sets her on the couch. "So your the one she went out with tonight. I'm Meulin." She says, and shakes my hand. She stares at my face. "I'm Karkat, she told me a lot about you." I say. "She did? That's sweet. Well, I'm sure I'll be seeing you again. And if she is out this late again on account of you I will gut you like I fish. Bye!" She says and closes the door. What the fuck? The holy fuck?

Whatever. I need to get Kankri home.


	4. Chapter 4: Awkward movie date

It's been a few days since the date with Nepeta. I've talked to her once but it was a pretty pointless conversation I've thought about it many times now, she is 2 years younger. I shouldn't date someone younger. I mean. It's almost 3 years of a difference. Does her sister know? Kankri thinks she is in the same grade as me, I didn't tell him that but he assumes. I don't think it is a good idea anymore. I mean, I didn't from the start but when we really got to talking I guess I just forgot about it.

I mean, no one dates in different grades. I'm going to be tortured at school, I'll be called a pedophile!

Then again, when have I ever cared what those stoic pricks thought of me?

I don't know what to.. Then again, maybe it wont work out, there's no guaranty she likes me anyway. Maybe I don't have to worry about dating her because she doesn't to. Yeah. I mean, who can like a temperamental ass like me after one date? Then again, I wasn't temperamental at all. I guess not knowing what to do and feeling bad after the parent thing made me pretty nice. Crap.

What am I supposed to do now?

All of this shit is running through my head during class. And in the hall. And into the next class.

Wait. What class am I in? How did I remember to move? Or where the classroom was? Shit, muscle memory I guess. How the fuck do I figure this out? I mean. I guess I could just hang out with her again and see how she acts. Or I could just ignore her. Let it fade away. No.. I can't do that.

I don't why I can't but it doesn't feel right. I'll just hang out with her again. Yeah! I'll text her and figure out when. I pull out my phone and start texting.

HEY NEP, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU WANTED TO COME OVER AND WATCH A MOVIE OR 2? YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO SEE MY COLLECTION SO..

:33 That sounds great! I'm walking in between classes right now so I can't really talk but I'll let you know when I'm free after school ok?

OK

:33 Wait. How are you talking? I thought you didn't get out of school for another hour and a half?

WHAT? OH RIGHT YEAH. I GUESS I'M ABOUT TO GET DETENSION.. HOW DID I NOT THINK OF THAT? SHIT. BYE.

:33 He he! Bye!

I look up at the front of the class to nonchalantly put my phone away.. But I'm already caught.

Why wasn't I thinking? God. This girl is messing with my head.

"Mr. Vantas. Is there something you want to tell the class?"

"No. There isn't." I reply. "I think there is. Stand up and read your texts to the class if you think they are so important."

I stand up, open my phone. And start reading. "Hey Nep, I was wondering if you wanted to come over and watch a movie or two since you said you wanted to see my collection. Cat face, that sounds great. I'm walking in between classes right now so I can't really talk but I'll let you know when I'm free after school ok? Sure. Cat face, wait, how are you talking? I thought you didn't get out of school for another hour and a half. What? Oh right, yeah. I guess I'm about to get detention" I say the so far texts, but I think I'll dig my self in a deeper hole while I'm at it. "But maybe I wont because our teacher is pretty retarded, he probably wont notice since his head is always in his ass. We could have a fucking phone call and this fuckass wouldn't know. L. O. L." I say and put the phone away. The class starts laughing, I look at him like 'You wanna sue me?' And he glares at me like a volcher about to eat it's pray. "Principle's office. NOW." He commands. I walk out and do as I'm told.

Naturally our story will skip to a further point in time.

As soon as I walk through the apartment door Kankri starts scolding me.

"Karkat! Do you have any idea how it feels to get a call saying your brother was in trouble? I assumed something terrible had happened!" He says. As he rants I go to my room, throw my bag on my bed and kick off my shoes. I turn back to him, "Well nothing bad happened so you don't need to worry. It's no big deal." I say. "But it is! They asked for father's number!" He shouts. My eyes widen and my hands clench into fists. "Did you give it to them?" I ask. "Of coarse not. I know how bad that would have been for you." He answers. "Thanks..." I say. He nods and I close my bedroom door.

God... I play some music and start trolling idiots on the internet.

I guess time moved faster then I though because I just got a text from Nepeta.

:33 Hi Karkitty!

CAN YOU STOP WITH THE KARKITTY?

:33 No way! It's so cute! I think it fits you purrfectly!

WHATEVER.

:33 did you get in trouble at school?

I GOT SENT TO THE PRINCABLE'S OFFICE, NOT FOR THE TEXTING EXACTLY THOUGH..

:?

THE TEACHER HAD ME READ OUR TEXTS OUT LOUD AND I MADE UP A BUNCH OF SHIT CALLING HIM A FUCKASS.

:33 Karkitty! Why would you do that?!

WHY NOT?

:33 Sigh. Well too late to change it now.

YUP

:33 So you said you wanted to watch a movie?

YEAH, WHEN CAN YOU COME OVER?

:33 Ummm... Well, what are you doing tonight?

NOTHING.

:33 Cool! Send me your address and I'll be over in a bit

K

Well that went well. I turn off the music and look around my room. Shit this place is a mess.

I start cleaning. Once I finish cleaning my room and go into the kitchen to make some popcorn.

"Are you watching a movie?" Kankri asks. "Yeah, Nepeta is going to be here soon." I answer.

"And your not going to clean this place?" He asks. "I already did my room and thanks to you it isn't that messy out here." I answer. "Ugh! I'll let it slide but a nice girl like that will expect better! Although being at the age she is she probably goes to plenty of boys houses." He replies.

"Heh, how old do you think she is?" I ask. "Isn't she 17 like you?" He asks.

"No, she's 15" I answer. "What?! And you brought her to that party?! What's wrong with you?! You can't be seeing someone younger then you!" He replies. Shit, he's gonna rant.

"Kankri, it's fine, first of all she goes to those parties with her older sister so she's used to them. Secondly, it's not like I'm going to sleep with her. It will be fine." I say. He looks shocked and disgusted "Karkat! How can you s-" He gets cut off (thank god) by her knocking on the door.

"And here she is." I say, I open the door. "Hey." I say. "Hi Karkitty!" She says. I let her in and Kankri glares at me. I glare back. "Um, are you too ok?" She asks with a bubbly tone of voice.

"We are just fine thank you very much. But I really must ask." He stands up and begins ranting.

As he goes on and on she leans over to whisper "I saw this TV show the other day where a girl kissed a guy to get him to shut up. Have you ever thought of that?" She asks. Wait. WHAT THE FUCK?!

Does she think I'm gay?! What the hell! "Excuse me?!" I whisper back. "You do know he's my brother right?" I ask. "Heehee! Yes, but surely you have something to get him to shut up?" She replies. "Um. I just yell at him." I say. "Hmm." She replies... Or hums. Whatever the fuck.

We stand around for a few more minutes before she snaps. "That's it." She says, and all I can think is oh shit. She walks up to him and waits for him to notice. Which he doesn't. I knew it. She kisses him. His eyes are wide open in shock, my mouth is hanging open even though I knew it was coming. And then of coarse she holds it only as long as she has to make sure he is quiet. She releases him and steps back. "Wha-wha...W..?" Is all he can get out. Looks like it worked. "Sorry, but you wouldn't shut up and it worked on TV." She says as she turns and and walks over to the couch. She is blushing. I guess she normally wouldn't do that. At least I hope not. "Kankri, why don't you go to your room?" I ask. He, still unable to find words, walks into his room and shuts the door. "Oh my dog! I can't believe I just did that! Oh gosh! This stepping out of my comfort zone thing is hard!" She says.

"Why are you getting out of your comfort zone?" I ask. "Well, the living life to it's fullest thing I mentioned before, I'm a bit shy sometimes so I figure if I try to do things I normally wouldn't I'll adjust and get more living done." She says. "Oh, uh ok then... Wanna pick out a movie?" I ask in a attempt to get rid of the awkwardness. She nods and I lead her to my room. "Wow. I know you said you had a ton but this is amazing! You have every rom com invented!" She says and looks at me. Still as energetic as ever. Her face has excitement spread across it. "Thanks, choose whichever you want. Personally I think the best ones are the older movies, The ones from the 80s are a bit more focused on high school but they are still good. And they have more comedy. 16 candles is a good one but I think Pretty Woman has more of a real love story in it. That's just if you want to go with the older choices, there is also The Vow, 50 first dates, Letters to Juliet, Dear John..." I trail off. "Shit,I'm ranting like Kankri." I say. "No, your fine. This is a actually interesting topic! I don't even know what he was saying!" She replies. She was actually listening to what I was saying. Everyone just zones out when I start talking about movies. "How about Pretty Woman?" She asks. "Sounds good." I reply.

It takes until half way through the movie before I realize how we are sitting. How did I only now notice this? I got into the movie dammit! But I only noticed it all because I felt her shifting her position and now her boob is against my arm. Her head on my shoulder, she is curled up almost in a ball. So I guess half of one. This is nerve racking. I bet she doesn't notice because her eyes are locked onto the TV screen. What am I supposed to do now? Now that I've realized our position I doubt I can get my focus back on the movie. Shitty shit... Uuuuuhhhh... Seriously! What the fuck do I do now!?

I sit tensely like this for pretty much the rest of the movie. Once it ends we sit there silently more a minute. She flinches and sits u straight. I guess she just noticed it. "Hey Karkitty?" She asks.

"Yeah?" I reply. "You know that, doing things I normally wouldn't do thing?" She asks. "Yeah." I Answer. "Can I try something?" She asks. I just look at her and see her leaning up. We kiss of coarse. As our lips meet I fill with butterflies, I instantly kiss her back. We both shift our weight on the couch and almost continue into a make out session. She pulls back before we get any farther.

She lets out a deep breath, "I think that's enough of experimenting for one night." She says.

"I would think so. Kissing 2 guys in the same day, must be tiring." I reply. She giggles softly.

"I'll um. See you at the pet store?" She asks. That's right, I forgot we work together.

"Yeah." I answer. She gets up and I walk her out. "Kankri you can come out now." I say.

"Nope! I am not leaving this room!" He shouts. Time to get him. I walk into his room and see him sitting on his bed hugging his knees. "Kanrki, it's not like that was your first kiss. Was it?" I ask. I know it actually wasn't thanks to that party but still. He doesn't seem to remember that.

"Yes, I'll have you know it was!" He answers. I just laugh at first, then pull out my phone.

"Look at this. You know how Sollux and I got you to drink at the party?" I ask. "Yes." He answers as I sit down next to him. I play the video and show him the make out session between him and whoever that chick was. His face turns bright red. "W-what?! How did that happen!?" He shouts.

"You were to drunk to remember by the time I came back for you." I say and put my phone away.

"... YOU LEFT ME THERE!?" He asks. "Yes. But not on purpose! It was like umm.. Ok, so here's what happened." I say and begin to explain everything. Afterwords, he kicks me out of his room.

"Wait!" He says before I close the door behind me. "Did you just kiss her?" He asks, I nod.

What the fuck? Of coarse I did! "How can you do such a vile thing?! She is younger then you! If you get to attached to this girl you both could end up getting hurt and she is probably more sensitive in the first place so someone with as little class as you has no business dating her. And either way if you go to far she can get traumatized! You simply can not spend so much time with her! It is dangerous for you both! And-" He begins to rant. "I know." I cut him off. I know exactly what he is saying, I understand it. For once he is actually right. Shit. Suck it up Karkat! Don't you dare get emotional in front of this pain the ass!... Shit. "You do?" He asks. "Did I fucking stutter?" I ask. I stare at the ground. "I'm going to bed." I say and walk off. I hear him saying "Brother wait." I don't want to talk about it. I never talk about it. It's like my quirk. I don't show people my pain or sorrow if I can help it. Some self loathing comes out sometimes but it's not like those things REALLY bother me. And it's not like I yell about how my dad's drinking problem is because of me. Or, it feels like it I guess.

A very wise computer made song once said, "Hurts, it hurts me but I wont cry" and I follow that. I can't help but wonder if that's how Nepeta feels to. I mean, in the cafe when she hit me, I thought she was going to burst. But she held it back. I guess we more in common then I thought. I'm just laying here on my bed like a bum. I'd be worried that Kankri would come knocking, but he knows fucking better. This has happened before. Before he moved out and before I moved in with him.

When the drinking got really bad when we were little he would hug me and I'd let him. But once I was 9 or 10, I stopped letting him. He tried. A lot. But I just pushed him off. And he stayed in the same room. But after a while. I think it's not just that he wanted to help me, I think he needed a hug too.

I would break eventually and hug him. But the past few years, I didn't. I left him alone. Figured he should man up and deal with it like I always did. And then he moved out and I was alone. So after the next drunken rampage he went on. I decided to move in with Kankri. He was happy to let me.

I think he was lonely to. Now the memories of a angry, loud, violent, drunken father rampaging through the house. They haunt me. It was scary, but it could have been worse, we hid under the bed we it seemed like he wanted to hit us. So we never got hurt. But I can't help but feel like if I had been more supportive, more helpful, less of a pain in his ass. He wouldn't have dank that much. But I can only guess. He will never be sober enough to tell me. So I just assume that I'm right, it makes sense.

At least to me it does. Now I have to deal with this hanging over my head. God... Can somebody explain this shit to me? Am I really to blame for all this shit?

Someone... Tell me...

(Sorry about the OOC of Nepeta's kiss with kankri, I just had to make that happen! And yeah, grammar. Fuck da -grammar- police!)


	5. Chapter 5: Time skipping!

Trudging to a pet store in the rain isn't exactly my idea of a good time. Probably isn't anyone's.

But I need money, and Nepeta is there. I walk through the door and the little bell rings as always.

A few steps in and it already- "Tackle pounce!" Nepeta quickly says as she tackles me to the ground, although I think I covered up her words with my shocked yelling. "Jesus fuck!"

"God Nep, a simply hello will do just fucking fine." I say. "But that is what normal people do! And when was the last time you heard a exited cat say hello instead of jumping on you?" She asks.

Why wont she get off of me? "Uh, a cat?" I ask. "Yeah.. Don't you pay attention to any of my cat puns?!" She asks. Oh yeah. I didn't really notice them. Now that I think about it, she uses a lot of them. Kinda ridiculous "Can you get off me now?" I ask. "No! Not until you apologize for not listening to my cat puns!" She answers. "What? So unfair!" I joke. She pouts, "Fine, I'm sorry." I say. She gets off of me and I follow her up. "I should probably get cleaning." I say and star to walk off. "Hang on a sec! I told you I would teach you about animals! A And I always keep my word!" She shouts after me. Wait. I have to deal with animals? This can not end well. "But that's not my job." I reply. "I talked to the manager!" She says. Shit. "Nope. I'm am perfectly fine without it." I say and fold my arms. She puts her hand on her hips. "Oh no. You are doing this!" She shouts.

"Fuck no!" I yell back. She gasps and looks at the toddler standing with a parent a few feet away from her. Whatever, kid can learn at a early age like me. "... Now you have to!" She snaps and marches over to me. She grabs the front of my shirt and drags me off. "Let go of me!" I yell.

She drags me off to a back room. She let's go and walks over to a cage with a puppy in it.

"You need to give him a bath." she says. "I am so gonna fail at this." I say. "Nah! It's easy! Just take that shower head, spray him down, rub in some shampoo, rinse again, and dry him. It's super simple." She explains and hands me the puppy. Kind of cute I guess. I think it's a beagle or something.

A squirmy thing to. I set him in the tub and get on my knees. I grab the hose and start doing what she said. "See, your doing fine. I'll be right back." She says and walks back to the front of the store.

This is pretty easy after a-AAAA Shit! I think the dog likes her! He starts jumping around until the gets out of the tub and runs around the small, fairly empty room. I mean, the only things in here are a few more tubs and some shelfs with grooming supplies. But when I soaking wet dog is running and slipping around in here. This isn't good. "Get back here fucker!" I yell. Shit the floor if wet.

I starts chasing after it and of coarse, I fall on my ass more times then I can count.

Well, my pants are already soaking, might as well forget about the shirt. I stand up and watch the dog to see where it is going. I jump down and slide across the floor to catch it, at this very moment Nepeta opens the door. I continue to slide out of the room, thanks to the absorbency of my shirt, and reach a stop in the middle of the store portion of the building. She walks up to me as I get up. She caught the dog already. She caught, the fucking, dog, in 2 seconds. Is she a animal whisperer?!

"Really? You couldn't keep him in the tub?" She asks. "Nope. That thing goes crazy without you in the room." I reply. "Well. You tried. Now start cleaning this up please." she says when the finishes her giggling. She turns around and grabs some towels for us to use.

After our shifts end I realize, why not plan something. "Hey Nep, do you wanna hang out this weekend?" I ask. "I would love to! But unfurrtunately I'm going out of town. I wont be back until next Wednesday." She answers. "Ok. When do you leave?" I ask. "Tomorrow night. It's for a art show out of town a ways but Sis is only taking me because it's my birthday next weekend and she is a sap even for early birthday presents." She says. "That's pretty cool. I'll see you when you get back then." I say and kiss her cheek. "See you then." She says with a hint of blush on her face.

I walk out and head home. I wonder if I should do something for her next weekend.

What would she want? She likes art, making art, shipping things, climbing trees, rom coms, and cats. That isn't a very specific rage of things. What do you get a person with those kinds of interests?

It's not until next weekend, I got time to figure it out.

*A few days later*

I'm sitting at the lunch table with Sollux and Gamzee, same old same old.

"So, Gamzee. Since you knew her before I did, what should I get Nepeta for her birhtday?" I ask.

I know he wont have many good ideas being in his state of mind but it's worth a shot, and I have 3 days left to figure it out so it's not like I'm in a rush.

"Well that little quirky motherfucker likes paint. So I'm making her some motherfucking rainbow cupcakes. I bet my pie would look pretty good rainbow to." He answers. I knew it.

"Your going to give her rainbow food?" Sollux asks. "I gueth if your like her brother it workth. But that doethn't really help you out doeth it Kk?" Sollux replies. "Actually it might have given me an idea... Nope. It's gone. Never mind. This is harder then I thought. I mean, this girls like the most random things all mashed together to make one big cluster fuck." I say. "Like what?" Sollux asks.

"Making art, looking at art, climbing trees, rom coms, and cats. She reeeaaally likes cats." I answer.

"You could take her to a art show about catth." Sollux replies. "Haha very funny." I say and roll my eyes. "Whatever. I still have 3 days." I say and lean back in my chair.

*2 days later*

"Shiiiiiiiittttt!" I say as I speed walk over to the lunch table. "I told you not to put it off." Sollux says.

"No you didn't." I reply. "I didn't? Well I meant to." He says. "As hole." I groan and smack my head on the table. "Who are you calling an ath hole? You the one who didn't plan anything." He replies. "Ugh. I know." I say. "I would talk to Kankri." He says. "Shut the fuck up. I'm not in the mood." I reply. "No, I'm being serious. He main be a pain in the ath but he does know what he's talking about when it cometh to logical thocial thtand pointth." He continues. Shit. Smart people words. I hate them, even I can understand them. "Oh my god, I can't believe I have to go to that blabbering douche bag for advice." I reply. I really can't believe this. God this sucks.

I walk through the door and throw my stuff on my bed. "Kankri." I say, I am so pissed. Why can't I figure this out? "Yes brother?" He asks. "I can't figure out what to get Nepeta for her birthday tomorrow. I guess I could use your advice.." I say. It kind of hurts to ask for his help.

"Well for starts don't leave it until the last minute." He replies. I grunt. "But for presents... She likes art right?" He asks. "Yes." I answer. "Take her somewhere with a nice view. She can sketch or paint something lovely." He says. Not a bad idea. "Hm.. Ok thanks. I think I've got a plan." I reply.

"Not at all a problem." He says and continues to read his lousy book.

(Sorry about this weird chapter, so much time skipping! I just wanted to get all of this in but everything ended up like this.)


	6. Chapter 6: Birthday cupcakes

Today is her birthday. We already planned on meeting up. I'm gonna pick her up with Kankri's car, then take her to the park. It's sunny, just like I hoped.

I have some surprises planned for her too. But that's to be revealed later.

I just took a shower, and am now browsing through the fridge.

"Karkat. What are you doing?" Kankri asks. "Looking for food." I answer. "You fool! You shouldn't be browsing through the fridge right now! You should be preparing a picnic! If your going to the park on a sunny day like this it is the only way to eat!" He says. "Ugh. I guess it's not a bad idea, but I asked for your advice once. And only once. And I don't need you to keep fucking jumping in like this. Got it?" I snap. "Fine fine." He says and walks off.

I do as he suggested and start making a picnic. Sandwiches, you can never go wrong with sandwiches.

My phone beeps.

:33 Karkitty! Guess what!

HEY NEP, YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO BE PICKING YOU UP IN JUST A BIT

:33 I know but I just had to tell you this! *Nepeta's tails swishes with excitement*

OK WHAT IS IT?

:33 Gamzee says he made cupcakes for me! We can pick them up before we go to the park! Yummy snacks!

THAT MAY NOT BE A GOOD IDEA. THE LAST TIME HE MADE CUPCAKES THEY HAD HIS WEIRD PIE IN THEM. AND THAT SHITTY TASTING SODA.

:33 Really? Hmm.. I guess not then...

DON'T WORRY THOUGH, I'M BRINGING A PICNIC

:33 Yum!

I'LL SEE YOU SOON

:33 Ok, bye!

Now then. Time to get going.

I pull up and before I can get out to go get her, I see her coming out. Must have been waiting.

OH SHIT! Her apartment in on the third floor and she just jumped down. I'll explain in detail.

The starts are outside and there is metal railing along with metal floor and stairs.

Well, she grabbed the railing, swung down onto the next floor, landing on it's railing. Then jumped off of it onto a tree and climbed down insanely fast. My jaw is hanging open. She skips over to the car and gets in the passenger seat. I just stare at her. "What?" She asks. "What was all that?" I ask.

"Oh, right, I learned parkour when I was young. No big deal, it sure helps have cat like abilities!" She says and giggles. "Damn. That's pretty fucking cool." I reply. "I can teach you if you want?" She asks. "Sure!" I answer. That would be so bad ass! I start driving and we get to the park in just a few minutes. "If the park you wanted to go to was so close, why didn't we walk?" She asks.

"Because, I have a surprise for you in the trunk." I answer. Her face lights up.

I get out, then open her door for her. "Ok, now close your eyes and wait here." I say, she does, and I race around to set up everything. I set up an easel and sketch book with pencils, and a blanket with a picnic basket in the middle of it, all on a big hill with a few huge trees on it.

Perfect. I grab her hand and lead her over to it. "Ok, now." I say. She opens her eyes and starts beaming. "EEEEEEEeeeee!" She squeals. "Oh my gosh Karkat! You did this?!" She shouts.

"Who else would?" I ask. She just squeals some more. "Come on." I say and lead her to the blanket, we sit down. "I can't believe you did this!" She says. "It's no big deal, you can do whatever, I figured there's a nice view so you can draw, and you said you like climbing trees." I reply.

She nods and stands up. She looks like she is thinking about what to do. I lean back, using my arms for support, and watch her. She grabs the drawing supplies and climbs the tree. Wait. Heh, ok that's pretty funny. "Uhh, what are you doing?" I ask while chuckling. "Multi tasking!" She shouts. I lay down and tuck my hands under my head...

"Karkitty! Wake up!" Nepeta says while sitting on her knees. No, not just on her knees, on me.

God how could I sleep with her sitting on me like that, I can barley breath..

"Can't breath.. Get off.." I grunt. "Oh! Sorry!" She says and scooches off of me. "Sorry, I didn't sleep well last night." I say. "It's ok! I drew you while you were sleeping! I think it turned out great!" She replies. "Huh? Let me see it." I say. She hands me the notebook. "This is really fucking awesome." I say. "Heehee! Thanks. But we have to go!" She replies. "How come?" I ask.

Could it really be that late? No, the sun is only down starting to set. "Gamzee called, he's home alone and something freaked him out. We need to go!" She answers. Something scared Gamzee?

What the fuck? Did he get to high and see shapes? Whatever, I stand up. "Ok, let's go." I say.

She put everything back in the trunk and head to his house. I look at her, staring out the window.

She looks pretty worried. I guess they're pretty close. We pull up to the house.

She hops out and runs to the door. I follow behind her. She rings the door bell before I get there.

He opens it, hiding behind the door like it's a shield. "Gamzee are you ok?!" She asks. I follow her inside. It's kinda dark in here. "Thanks for coming sis. And bro, you came to!" Gamzee says.

He closes and locks the door behind us. "What the fuck happened Gamzee?" I ask.

"They talked to me. The mother fucking cupcakes talked to me!" He answers.

… You have to be fucking kidding me. "Oh no! This is terrible! How do we make them be quiet?" Nepeta asks. Is she serious? "Gotta get rid of them sis. Any way you can!" He says.

Ok, at least she can joke along with him. "Should we eat them?" She asks. "Yes!" He replies.

I open the curtains and we all sit on couch to eat. I'm leaning into one of the corners, Gamzee is sitting at an angle in the other corner with his right leg stretched out on the couch and the other hanging off, Nepeta is laying on her stomach on top of mine and Gamzee's legs. She really is like a cat. Its pretty comfortable, and the cupcakes aren't to bad but since there is stupid Fargo in them they still taste kind of shitty. Time passes, eventually Gamzee gets up. "I'll be right back mother fuckers, I wanna show you a new trick.". He says and walks away. Nepeta and me just look at each other with confused looks on out faces. He comes back with a fragile looking table lamp balanced on his head. "Gamzee what are you doing?". Nepeta asks while laughing. "Its my new trick! Honk!". He replies. Well that's Gamzee for you. "How the fuck has it not fallen off your head?". I ask. "I don't know. It just likes me I guess.". He answers. I guess its normal for him with his weird clown thing. But with the curtains open, I look out and see someone walking their dog. They stop and look creeped out or confused. Probably both. The creepy thing about it is that he always has white face paint on, added to his creepy smile. The polka dot clown pants don't help. Even if they are purple and gray instead of fucking rainbows. I shoo her away with my hand and she starts walking. I look back at him and he starts walking closer to Nepeta. "Wanna try it sis?". He asks. "He he! OK!". She says and stands up. He grabs another lamp and sets it on her head. He keeps holding it until she is stable. Which doesn't seem to be soon. Shit, she us so cute right now... what sucks the most is how cute they look together right now. She stables out enough and he let's go, about fucking time. I continue to watch as her face lights up when she realizes she is balancing it. "Now try walking.". He says and backs up to give her space. "Its gonna fall if I move!". She replies. I stand up behind her, "I'll catch it if it does.". I say. "Mmhmm.". She replies. She slowly takes a step forward, it wobbles. She gets stable again and starts taking another step. It falls, I lunge forward and catch it, my arms now around her. "Now now bro, keeps your hands to yourself.". Gamzee jokes. "Ha ha ha, just take the damn lamp.". I reply bluntly. "I got it bro.". He says and takes lamp, I pull my arms back. My phone beeps.

Karkat, you need to come home now. WHY? You just got a phone call.. it sounds bad. ? Just come home.

I look up from the phone. "Something wrong karkitty?". Nepeta asks. I start thinking of what it could be...  
"Karkitty?". Nepeta asks. "Speak to us bro.". Gamzee says. Its dad. It has to be dad. I just know it. "I have to get home. Gamzee can you take Nepeta home? I really don't have time.". I say. "Well sure bro, what's going on?". He asks. I ignore him and burst out the door. "Karkitty!". She shouts right before the door slams behind me. I drive home as fast as I can. "Kankri please tell me it isn't what I think it is!". I say as soon as I step in the apartment. He is sitting in the couch, his phone in front of him on the coffee table. He is leaning forward with his elbows resting on his knees. "..Its dad isn't it?..". I ask. He nods. "He's in the hospital...". He answers. Damn. Damn damn damn. This sucks. This is a fucking nightmare. "We should go see him." He says and stands up. I clench my fists, "No." I say. I stare at the ground. "Kark-" he tries to convince me. "I'm not going. I'm not seeing that bastard after everything he's done." I say. He walks over to me and reaches out like he's going put a hand on my shoulder. "Don't touch me!... why should we care about that drunken selfish fucker. What has he done for us? Ever?! Nothing. We would have been better off of as fucking orphans! I don't even give a shot anymore.." I say and walk into my room, slamming the door behind me.  
I flop down on my head with my face in my pillow. "FUUUUUUCK!" I scream into the pillow. This is so fucking stupid. He has never done anything for us and now he has the nerve to expect help? Not this time. I lift my head up and take a deep breath. Nope. I'm not gonna think about it. I'm not gonna think about him. By shouting about how I don't give a shit, I clearly do. So I'm not gonna be mad, or upset. I'm fine. He will be too after all, its happened before. Some stupid bar fight I bet. Yup. I just need to call Nepeta and explain why I left.  
I pick up my phone and call her.  
"Karkitty?! What happened?!" She shouts. "Its ok, calm down. Its just my dad, don't worry. Its completely fine. Sorry to make your worry on your birthday." I say calmly. "Oh.. ok. Its fine then! As long as your ok." She replies. "Good. Well I want to make it up to you, want to go to the cafe before its to dark?" I ask. "Sure! I'll meet you there!" She says, back to her cheery self and I hang up. I put the phone in my pocket and head out, when I get to the door Kankri stops me. "Where are you going?" He asks. "I left Nepeta worried so I'm meeting her at the cafe she likes." I answer. "Are you sure you don't want to talk?" He asks. "Yeah. I fine." I reply and walk out.


	7. Chapter 7: Meeting the ex

It's been a week or 2. Since I started seeing Nepeta things are actually going good. I guess you could say we're going steady, so that's good. We go to the park a lot, I think that hill has been claimed as ours. She always climbs the taller tree, she even got me to try it. I learned that I don't like hights. But I did it anyway, she draws me a lot. Ill suffer through going to that dumb cafe but she has to make it up to me with a make out session. I don't go there very often...  
Kankri has shut up about her being younger then me. I've... ok, I haven't gotten over it, no one at school lets me. Sure Sollux and Gamzee don't give a shit but when Sollux made a joke about it, something along the lines of " kiss her yet? Tch, pedo." People decided not to let it go. So it's still a problem. But she doesn't now that. I hope she doesn't anyway. Kankri has tried to get me to see dad but I am not seeing that crabby bastard. I don't want to think about him and I sure as hell don't want to see him. But enough about that. Right now I'm sittting on my bed with my back against the wall and my laptop on my lap, blasting musicians into my headphones. Unfortunately my pesterchum beeps. With makes me jump because it is already a loud noise without having headphones loud enough to make me go deaf. "FUCK." I yell in whole when the sound comes. I look to see who it is. You have to be kidding me. My fucking ex.  
Hi there Karkles  
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?  
no need to be so rude. I just wanted a chat.

Fine. I'm coming in town and I want to see you.  
WELL I DONT WANT TO SEE YOU SO FUCK OFF.  
Are you STILL holding a grudge?  
NO. I JUST DONT WANT TO DEAL WITH YOU ANYMORE. IM SEEING SOMEONE ELSE.  
You are? Who? Do I know her?  
UGH. HER NAME IS NEPETA AND SHE DOES TO A DIGFERENT SCHOOL SO I DOUBT YOU KNOW HER.  
the girl you work with?  
DID EVERYONE KNOW HER BEFORE ME?!  
Probably. You never talked to her before?  
NO. HER SISTER BROUGHT HER TO A PARTY THAT SOLLUX WAS AT AND HE SET US UP. TURNS OUT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA  
I see. Well I want to meet her, and see you. Lets meet up tomorrow at that cafe you hate.  
YOUR KIDDING RIGHT? I PUT UP WITH THAT PLACE ALL THE TIME. SHE LIKES TO SIT THERE AND DRAW.  
Well all the better! See you at 3?  
YEAH.

What the fuck did I just do?

I walk into the cafe and see her right away. Same dragon based walking stick, same short black hair, same shirt. And same red glasses. God. All the shit I went though. Whatever. That's in the past, and I'm trying to look forward like Nepeta. I walk over to her. "Hey Terezi." I say. God I sound miserable. Oh wait. I am.  
"Hey Karkles." She says stands up. She holds out her arms. "Don't I get a hug after all this time?" She asks. I sigh and hug her. "So how's your brother and your dad?" She asks. "Kankri is still Kankri. And dad.. I moved out and into Kankri's apartment." I answer. "Oh. Sorry." She replies. "No biggy." I say. I hear the bell ring and soon, "Karkitty!" Nepeta squeals and hugs me with her arms around my neck, I lift her off the ground. We always seem to do this. I set her down and she giggles. "Oh! Hi! I'm Nepeta." She says and holds out a hand to greet Terezi. "I'm Terezi. Nice to meet you." She replies and shakes Nepeta's hand.  
A little while later and Nepeta has drawn a picture of Terezi at her request. I have been horrified with the amount of awkwardness I feel that they seem to be oblivious to. And now it is time for us to go. We saviour goodbyes, they exchange phone numbers and I walk Nepeta home. "She was nice! How do you two know each other anyway?" She asks. "We met in school. She my ex." I answer. She stops. "What?! Why did she want to meet me? And see you? What's going on? My head is all screwy now!" She screams. Freaked out much? "Calm down. We were friends before dating so she just wanted to catch up. I told her I was seeing you and she said it would be fun to hang out with you too. No big deal... right?" I reply. "That's why you were so quiet! I guess it's not a big deal. I mean. She doesn't get to do this." She says and raps her arms around my neck and stands on her toes. As our lips meet I rap my arms around her waist and bend down slightly so she can stand flat on her feet. I pull back and our foreheads sit on each others. "Karkat. I.. I think I l.." she tries to say. I know what she's going to say. I don't want to hear it... "Don't... I know what your going to say and you can't. Just... don't say you love me.." I say. She can't love me..  
"... Karkat. That's stupid. I can love whoever I love. I know you have had a ruff past with emotion but it's not something to hide from." She replies. She doesn't even know. "You just.. you don't even know.." I say. We let go of each other. "Then tell me so I can understand." She replies. "No... I just can't... I'm sorry.." I sat and run off. I can't do this again. I race home. God, why do I feel like crying? How does she feel. I must be the worst person in the world. To be afraid of love and refuse her, to leave her there. I just left her there at the corner... I walk through the door and march to my room. "Something wrong brother?" Kankri ask. I don't answer, my door slams before he tries to ask anything else. I quickly pace around my room, kicking shit out of my way. Why do I have so much fucking junk on my floor!? Now I know why Kankri likes it clean. There no god damn space in here! What's going on... I don't get it! I feel like I can't understand anything anymore! I have to apologise. But what do I say?! I might love her too but how do I say that without regretting it? I can't say I love her because even if I do, I have to be sure. I can't throw my love out there like with Terezi. God what do I do?! Sleep. Yeah. I need sleep. I climb into bed and try to sleep. It takes what feels like hours but finally. I can rest.


	8. Chapter 8: Hi dad

I sit down at the lunch table where Sollux is eating. "Hey." I say as I set my lunch tray down. "Thup Kk." He replies. "Your being a bum again. What happened?" He asks. I sigh. "Nepeta said she loves me." I answer. His eyes widen. "O k. But what's the big problem?" He asks. "Ugh. You remember all the shit with Terezi? That's how it started. So I stopped her from saying it and to shorten the story, I ran away like a little girl and left her at the corner." I explain. "Oh. Well nice going. Did you bump her? " he asks. God. Does she think I did? Fuck.  
"No." I answer. He tilts his head down to peer over his colored glasses. "Does she know that?" He asks. "I hope so..." I answer and look down at the table. I push my tray out of the way and start banging my head on the table. He laughs for a moment. "Kk?" I continue to hit my head. "Kk come on!" He snaps and grabs my shoulders, sits me up, and says "Kk. Calm down." He lets go and continues eating. "Nope." I slam my head on the table one last time, and stay there. "Fuck my life." I say. This is a fucking nightmare. I have to call her.  
Once I leave school I pull out my phone and call as I walk. "Hello?" She says. "Hey Nep. I wanted to apologize about last night. It was pretty shifty of me." I reply. "Its ok Karkitty. It was my fault. I mean, I kinda jumped the gun I guess." She says. "No it's not your fault. I just. I've got some... issues in my past. Things involving Terezi, and my dad. And I haven't really opened up to anyone afterwards so the thought kinda scares me..." I reply. Where did that cone from? I didn't even know that. That's what my inner mind came up with so I guess it's true. Fuck, I suck. "Aw Karkitty! Its fine then. Don't worry, I don't want to pry. Oh, I'm about to walk into my next class. I'll talk to you later!" She says and hangs up. I forgot she gets out later then me.  
I walk through the apartment door and see Kankri sitting the same way he was when he got the first call about dad. "Kankri. What happened?" I ask and walk over to him. "He might be dying." He answers. "Might be?" I ask. "He has miner internal bleeding when he first got there. They did a check up and it got worse. Way worse. He is going into surgery tomorrow but he has a 60% chance of death." He explains. God. "Fuck... come on. We're gonna see him." I say. "Your gonna talk to him?" He asks. Sounds pretty shocked, so am I. "Yes. Now lets go before I change my mind." I answer and he stands up. We head there as fast as we can, but by the time we get there he looks like he is about to burst into tears. We walk to the front desk but he has been here enough the lady behind the desk just nods and I follow him to the room. We both freeze when we see him laying there. I walk over to the side of the bed. "Karkat?" He asks. His voice is horse, he is even paler then before, and he's covered in bruises. "Hey dad. You look like shit." I reply. "Heh, well yeah. You look well though. Tell me about your life. How are you doing?" He asks. "I'm working at a pet shop.. getting good grades. I uh.. I have a girlfriend." I answer. "That's good. Tell me about her." He says. I have never seen him so calm. Probably cause he got sober when when he got dropped of here. "She's great. She's full of energy, she tries to make the most of everything. She uh, she's insanely sweet. Goes to a different school but it turns out she works at the same pet store. Her older sister is dating Gamzee's older brother and she and him are close. Her sister brought her to a party Sollux was at and he set us up. Insanely small world. She's just. Great." I explain. "That's great. I'd like to meet her at some point." He replies. He actually seems nice. But it's weird. I don't trust him. My phone starts ringing. "Oh, that's her." I say and step away. "Hey Nep." I answer. "Hi Karkitty! Is everything ok? You sound different." She asks. "Yeah.. it's fine. Hey how fast can you get to the hospital? My dad wants to meet you." I reply. "Oh! I can be there in a few minutes!" She says and hangs up. Kankri talks to him until she gets here. In just a few minutes, like she said, she walks though the door. "Karkitty! She squeals and jumps, we do our usual hug with her lifted off the ground. I set her down and hold her hand, I lead her over to dad. "Dad, this is Nepeta. Nepeta, this is my dad." I sigh as I introduce him to her. "Its nice to meet you sir." She says with the same smile she always has. "Nice to meet you to. If you don't mind my asking. How old are you? You look younger then him." He asks. "I'm 15." She answers. "Ah, a younger girl. Nice job Karkat, I always liked them better. Easier to nail in-" he starts to say. That bastard! "Shut up. Don't talk about her like that!" I cut him off. "Karkitty, it's fine." She says, I know she doesn't mean it, she's just trying to calm me down. I clench my fists. "No it's not!" I snap. Shit. "No no, go ahead Karkat. Yell. It just proves how might our really like me." He says. How dare he... how can he say that. "Shut the fuck up... JUST SHUT UP!" I yell. Nepeta and Kankri jump. "I am nothing like you! You are a sick, nasty, drunken bastard with no ability to see how anyone but you feels! I see what you can't! I don't make people so afraid of me that they hide when I come around! I don't beat that fear into them! You made me so scared to let people in that I never did! I couldn't even let my brother in, the only person that cared enough to try! And now that I'm experiencing what it feels like to have people care, to let them in, you come back into my life and ruin it!" I scream as I begin to cry. I let my hair cover my eyes to hide the few tears that hare making it through. "Your just a selfish son of a bitch!" I yell. I wanna hit him. I wanna hit him so much.. I raise my fist and try to hit him. Kankri wraps his arm under my shoulder to hold me back. "Karkat. Think about this." He says quietly. I lower my arm, he lets go. "Fuck you.. fuck me for thinking you could change. Fuck me for being a fucking fool, you rat bastard!" I yell and storm out. I'm not crying... I'm not crying... oh who the fuck am I kidding. I stop outside and in just a second Nepeta comes up behind me with a gentle hug.  
"I'm sorry Karkat. I didn't know it was that bad." She says. "You have nothing to be sorry for... I asked you to come.." I reply. I turn around and hug her back. I'm probably crushing her. "I'm so sorry..." I say as I begin to sob. "It's ok now Karkat. Everything is ok." She says. I can't believe this. Any of this. How can he talk about her that way? About any girls? I know the answer. But still.

Kankri comes out. "Brother. Are you alright?" He asks. "What the fuck do you think?.. I thought he would be different when he stopped drinking.. I thought he could change... He never will..." I say as the sobbing slows down for a minute. It picks up again. This is all just to much right now. I breath deeply and let go of Nepeta. "Let's just go home."


	9. Chapter 9: A day out

'm waiting at the bus stop. I'm waiting for Nepeta, Gamzee, Sollux and Feferi. We all going to wander around down town for the day, shop, watch movies, be weirdos. Supposedly fun shit. after a minute or two Sollux and Fef walk up. "Hey sol, hi Fef." I say. "Hey Kk." Sollux replies. "Hi karkat!" Feferi says. We wait for a little longer until Nepeta comes. "Karkitty!" She squeals as always, said hugs me and I lift her off the ground. This time when I put her down she kisses me. Not like we're going to make out in front of our friends, its just a peck. But she normally doesn't so I'm kinda surprised. "Aw! Aren't you just the happiest couple!" Feferi squeals. She gets exited really easily. Nepeta giggles. "What'th that?" Sollux asks and points to Nepeta's notebook. "Oh, that's my sketch book. I figured I could find some nice places to draw." She answers. "I didn't know you liked to draw! Actually I don't know much about you.. wanna exchange phone numbers?" Feferi asks. "Sure!" Nepeta answers. As they giggle and type in their numbers Sollux and I watch in fear. "Our girlfriend'th are becoming friendth." He whispers. "Yeah." I reply. "Thith ithn't good." He says. "Yeah. I know." I reply. This isn't good. Not good at all. Gamzee walks up. "Hey bros and sises" he greets up all. "Gamzee!" Nepeta squeals and jumps up to hug him. He spins her around a bit and sets her down... umm.. What are you talking about? I'm not jealous. Pfft. Heheh... "When we leaving?" Gamzee asks. "Soon as the bus pulls up. Should be any minute." I answer. "Cool. Brought your notebook sis?" He asks Nepeta. "Yup!" She answers. "Cool." Her replies. The bus pulls up and we all get on. We sit quietly until someone on the bus starts humming Just the way you are. Nepeta starts softly singing it, "i know, I know, when I compliment her she won't believe me." then Feferi joins in, "and its so, it's so sad that she don't see what I see." They look at each other. "But every time she asks me do I look ok, I say..." then that get much louder. "When I see your face, there's not a thing that I would change! Cause your amazing, just the way you are!" Finally I give into their stares and join them, causing Sollux to glare at me like I'm a trader. "When I see your face, there not a thing that I would change! Cause your amazing, just the way you are!" Nepeta's eyes widen when I start singing, I can't really hear how I sound. I'm either good or very bad. We continue to sing until Sollux joins in. He has a decent voice. We pull up to our stop right before finishing the song. As soon as it ends we all stand up and start cracking up. "That was a mother fucking miracle!" Gamzee says, completely ignoring the small children getting on the bus.  
*Pretty much montage thingy time!*  
We go into several shops, including a ice cream parlor. We sat down at the market square that has nice trees and flowers surrounding it, with a fountain in the middle. We all sit on a ledge in front of the trees and Nepeta sits at the fountain and draws us. For the rest of the day we continue to act like the stupid teens we are. Probably looked like delinquents. I actually had a better time then I thought I would. The smile I had barely left my face. By the time we got off the bus to go home it was dark. We all say goodnight and head our separate ways. It was pretty fun. I mean. I usually don't go out in groups, and when I do it kinda sucks. So I guess this was a good thing.

I walk through the door and head straight to my room. I flop down on my bed. I'm beat. I lay there lifelessly for a while, my brain wont shut off. I can't sleep for the life of me. I go to my desk and start browsing the web. After a few hours I feel ready to sleep. Thank god to. Kankri says looking at a glowing screen keeps your mind going longer, but I can't seem to ever get to sleep without going online for a while. What does he know? He barley ever uses his laptop anyway.

I go back to my bed and finally fall asleep...


	10. Chapter 10: The jealous game

Is been a week. I want to say things are going well, I mean, the things happening are good. I smile more. But my smile goes away just as fast as it comes. We all have been hanging out as a group but there's something that I miss about it just being me and her. It sounds stupid. But She and Gamzee go into their own little world sometimes, and it just feels like... I don't know. Like there is something there. Something I don't have with her. He even met that over protective best friend of hers that She wont let me meet. It's. It just bothers me...  
I'm sitting on my bed, texting her. Our convorsation has reached a good point to ask her.  
SO I WAS WONDERING SOMETHING.  
33 Yes?  
WHY HAVENT I MET THAT SECRET BEST FRIEND OF YOURS?  
EVEN GAMZEE MET HIM.  
:33 Um.. he's kinda... harsh I guess.  
HAVE YOU MET ME?  
:33 I know but.. He hurts people.  
:33 Not on purpose though!  
:33 He doesn't mean to but he is.. strong, like really strong. He bruises people by shaking their hand.  
:33 And he is so protective of me! he's going to practically interrogate you!  
I CAN HANDLE IT.  
:33 Alright.. But not yet.  
FINE.. HOW DID GAMZEE MEEF HIM THEN?  
:33 Equips and I are the same age. So when we needed a ride fast I called Gamzee. Why is if so important to you what Gamzee knows about me?  
ITS NOT.. I MEAN.. ITS JUST.. IT FEELS LIKE HE KNOWS MORE ABOUT YOU THEN ME.  
:33 What? That's crazy!  
IS IT?  
:33 Yes it is! Are you jealous that he knew me first?  
NO.  
:33 Karkitty.  
KINDA. FINE YES. YOU 2 GO INTO YOUR OWN LITTLE WORLD TOGETHER, AND HANG OUT ALL THE FYCKING TIME. MAY I POINT OUT THE INSIDE JOKES THAT CANT BE E PLAINED? OR THE SRORIES OF YOUR SO MANY GOOD TIMES?  
:33 I don't want to talk about this over text. When can we meet?  
IM FREE NOW. THE PARK?  
:33 Yes.

Wait. Did we just plan to fight? I'd better go but.. I'm an ass hole. Shit.  
I walk over to the door and Kankri stops me. "Where are you going?" He asks. "To the park... I think I just made plans with Nepeta to fight.. I'll explain later." I reply and walk out. Its a pretty short walk to the park. When I get there she is waiting.  
"Hey." I say as I walk up to her. "Hi. Now lets talk about this." She replies. "Ok." I say. "What is your problem with me being friends with Gamzee? I didn't have a problem with your ex-girlfriend." She asks. "I know but that was one meeting. This is constant. I'm practically a third wheel when he's around. I'm fucking sick of it." I answer. "Its only like that in your eyes." She replies. "Because the wheel is the only one that sees it! I'm the god damn wheel!" I snap. Shit. I'm yelling. "Then join the conversation! If your left out then fix it!" She yells back. "So it's completely my fault? You should know me enough to know that's not how I work!" I shout. This isn't good. ".. of coarse I know that! But would it kill you to try and expand?! Your so shut off from the world!" She yells. "I've always been that way! You heard what happened with my dad! And I've gotten better!" I yell back. "Stop using that! I understand you went through a lot. But you choose who you want to be! You choose to be angry or sad! Just like I choose to be happy! So get your shit together and move on!" She screams. "What about you?! You still talk about this big life change your doing because your parents died! Who's not moving on now?!" I ask. I see heart break in her eyes. Shit shit shit, how do I take that back? I can't can I? "You sound just like your dad." She snaps and gasps at what she just said. We're both quiet for a minute. "I can't do this. Not again." I say and shake my head. "Are you.. breaking up with me?.." She asks. "... Yeah..." I answer. This is probably for the best. "Goodbye Karkat." She says, cold and soft. She walks away with her arms folded. I watch her go, she changes to a run when she reaches the bottom of the hill. I just... watch her go...


	11. Chapter 11: What she's doing

Is been a week. I want to say things are going well, I mean, the things happening are good. I smile more. But my smile goes away just as fast as it comes. We all have been hanging out as a group but there's something that I miss about it just being me and her. It sounds stupid. But She and Gamzee go into their own little world sometimes, and it just feels like... I don't know. Like there is something there. Something I don't have with her. He even met that over protective best friend of hers that She wont let me meet. It's. It just bothers me...  
I'm sitting on my bed, texting her. Our convorsation has reached a good point to ask her.  
SO I WAS WONDERING SOMETHING.  
33 Yes?  
WHY HAVENT I MET THAT SECRET BEST FRIEND OF YOURS?  
EVEN GAMZEE MET HIM.  
:33 Um.. he's kinda... harsh I guess.  
HAVE YOU MET ME?  
:33 I know but.. He hurts people.  
:33 Not on purpose though!  
:33 He doesn't mean to but he is.. strong, like really strong. He bruises people by shaking their hand.  
:33 And he is so protective of me! he's going to practically interrogate you!  
I CAN HANDLE IT.  
:33 Alright.. But not yet.  
FINE.. HOW DID GAMZEE MEEF HIM THEN?  
:33 Equips and I are the same age. So when we needed a ride fast I called Gamzee. Why is if so important to you what Gamzee knows about me?  
ITS NOT.. I MEAN.. ITS JUST.. IT FEELS LIKE HE KNOWS MORE ABOUT YOU THEN ME.  
:33 What? That's crazy!  
IS IT?  
:33 Yes it is! Are you jealous that he knew me first?  
NO.  
:33 Karkitty.  
KINDA. FINE YES. YOU 2 GO INTO YOUR OWN LITTLE WORLD TOGETHER, AND HANG OUT ALL THE FYCKING TIME. MAY I POINT OUT THE INSIDE JOKES THAT CANT BE E PLAINED? OR THE SRORIES OF YOUR SO MANY GOOD TIMES?  
:33 I don't want to talk about this over text. When can we meet?  
IM FREE NOW. THE PARK?  
:33 Yes.

Wait. Did we just plan to fight? I'd better go but.. I'm an ass hole. Shit.  
I walk over to the door and Kankri stops me. "Where are you going?" He asks. "To the park... I think I just made plans with Nepeta to fight.. I'll explain later." I reply and walk out. Its a pretty short walk to the park. When I get there she is waiting.  
"Hey." I say as I walk up to her. "Hi. Now lets talk about this." She replies. "Ok." I say. "What is your problem with me being friends with Gamzee? I didn't have a problem with your ex-girlfriend." She asks. "I know but that was one meeting. This is constant. I'm practically a third wheel when he's around. I'm fucking sick of it." I answer. "Its only like that in your eyes." She replies. "Because the wheel is the only one that sees it! I'm the god damn wheel!" I snap. Shit. I'm yelling. "Then join the conversation! If your left out then fix it!" She yells back. "So it's completely my fault? You should know me enough to know that's not how I work!" I shout. This isn't good. ".. of coarse I know that! But would it kill you to try and expand?! Your so shut off from the world!" She yells. "I've always been that way! You heard what happened with my dad! And I've gotten better!" I yell back. "Stop using that! I understand you went through a lot. But you choose who you want to be! You choose to be angry or sad! Just like I choose to be happy! So get your shit together and move on!" She screams. "What about you?! You still talk about this big life change your doing because your parents died! Who's not moving on now?!" I ask. I see heart break in her eyes. Shit shit shit, how do I take that back? I can't can I? "You sound just like your dad." She snaps and gasps at what she just said. We're both quiet for a minute. "I can't do this. Not again." I say and shake my head. "Are you.. breaking up with me?.." She asks. "... Yeah..." I answer. This is probably for the best. "Goodbye Karkat." She says, cold and soft. She walks away with her arms folded. I watch her go, she changes to a run when she reaches the bottom of the hill. I just... watch her go...


	12. Chapter 12: Gotta get out Kk

I haven't gone out as much as I did before. I guess she was the reason I did in the first place. But now it's just like it was before I met her. Except... Something feels missing. I haven't moved on yet. From anything. But I'm doing fine I guess. Sollux gets me to go out every now and then so I'm good. I'm actually going out now. Just waiting for him to pick me up.  
"Brother are you sure your fine going out?" Kankri asks. "I'm fine. It's been days, get over it." I answer. "Exactly! its only been days. Your being more hostile then you used to. I know something is wrong and I know it is her. Have you spoken since then?" He asks. A car honks outside. "there's Sollux. Don't wait up." I say and walk out. "Hey kk." He says as I climb into the car. "Hey Sol. Where are we going anyway?" I ask. He starts driving. "Party down town. By the way Gamzee ith meeting uth there." He answers. Wait. What?... "You didn't." I reply. "Kk, he'th our friend, and the ithue ith with Nepeta, not him. He ith to phyco to underthtand the problem anyway tho you can't blame him." He says. Ugh. "I guess.." I reply. By the time we pull up to the house party there is already a ton of craziness going on. We get out and wait on the lawn for Gamzee. "Where the fuck is he?" I ask. "Right here best bro." Gamzee says as he walks up. ...fuck. Nepeta pokes her head up from Gamzee's back. "Hello." She says coldly. Why is her giving her a ride on his back? Why did he bring her anyway? "Hey Gamz, and hello Nepeta." Sollux greets them. "Hi Sollux!" Nepeta says cheerfully. "Lets just go in." I say as I put my hands in my pockets. We all walk in, Gamzee sets Nepeta down. I head straight to the coolers. I do not want to be completely sober while she's here. Sollux follows me, "like our little thurprithe?" He asks. "You invited her?! You enormous ass hole!" I yell. I grab a beer and start drinking. "Now now. She ith Gamzee'th friend after all. We have to play nice." He says playfully with a grin. "I hate you." I reply. "You'll get over it. Bethides. No better place to do that then at a party!" He says. I walk away and lean against a wall, I look around and see a bunch of drunken morons dancing like fools to stupid loud music. Same as alwa-... She's dancing. She never wanted go dance before.. or at least she never said so... I can't believe this. She is dancing with 2 guys dancing around her. This sucks. I can't remember the last time I was this miserable. And now a slow song... they start playing "when I was your man" of coarse... How much do you wanna bet Sollux did that to mess with me? She starts slow dancing with Gamzee. This is bull. I feel a weight in my chest, a lump in my throat, and a huge pile of guilt in my head. Was I wrong? Yeah. I've known that since I saw her walk away. He better be fucking good to her. If he's as stupid as I was I'm gonna kill him. The thing is... i love her.. but.. it's to late now.. I screwed up. And I can't even fix it. Shit. Stupid song lyrics are getting in my head. But it's true. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck, fuck fuck! I can't take this. I storm out, throw my beer on the grass as hard as I can. It shatters. I want to scream. I want to hit him. I drop to my knees. God. I want to kill him! No I'm not fucking drunk. I only had half a beer. This is sober anger. I slam my fist on the ground. Shit. Glass in my hand. Shit that hurts, I pull the glass out. That hurts even more. Its not super deep but it sure as hell is bleeding. I stand up. Walk inside. And look for Gamzee. "You ok?" Sollux asks and steps in my way. He was watching wasn't he? "No I'm not! And no thanks to you ass hat! Where the fuck is Gamzee?!" I yell. The music is loud enough that I doubt anyone else can hear me. A song by emenim starts blasting. "Kk, don't do something your regret." He says. "I already fucking have!" I yell and push him out of my way. I see him next to her. I shove my way through the crowd. "Hey bro." Gamzee says. I punch him and he falls back. "You fucker!" I yell. "Karkat!" Nepeta screams. "And what the fuck is your problem?!" I yell at her. "My problem?!" She asks. Gamzee stands up. "Bro. Bad idea." Gamzee says and uppercuts into my gut, causing me to double over in pain. I suck it up and straighten as much as I can. I raise my fist you it him again but I can't move. Wait a second. Nepeta is behind me holding my back without arm rapped under mine and that hand on the back of my head, her other arm is around my throat. "Karkat. Please." She says softly. It sounds like she is holding back tears again. I stop struggling, she lets go. "Nepeta." I say and start to turn around, but she stops me. "No." She cuts me off. I hear her foot steps as the song ends. She's running out. I don't blame her. I stare at the ground. "Sorry bro." Gmazee says. "My fault. Don't worry. Just. Treat her better then I did." I reply. "Ok. But we're not seeing each other is that's what you mean." He says. My eyes widen. "Your not?" I ask. "Nope. I mean, we had a fling but she said she wanted to do a one night thing to get her mind off you. I just did what she wanted." He answers. Well fuck. "Why the fuck were you guys all over each other then?" I ask. "You know she Likes trying new things bro, and she didn't wanna slow dance with a stranger. She's still my sis man." He explains. "Shit. I'm a fucking ass aren't i?" I reply. "Yeth you are." Sollux says from behind me. "I have to apologize." I say. "No, let her cool off. She'th gonna rip your head off if you don't." He replies. "Fine." I say and walk out. I head straight home. If I don't get out of there now I'm going to explode. My eyes start water slightly as I walk. Siiiiitt! I clench my jaw. My hands get a grip on my hair. I want to rip my face off! "Fuuuuuucccckk!" I grunt and start walking faster. I can't believe I screwed up this badly. She was acting like a different person! What the fuck?! Probably trying to mess with me.. Why does everyone hate my guts?!... Then again. I hate me to..


	13. Chapter 13: I'm sorry

I'm sitting on the couch, curled up in my favorite blanket. I just finished the titanic but I don't feel like getting up. I still leave the house when I need to. And I've hung out with Sollux once since that party. But that's it. I've tried to talk to Nepeta. But she won't reply. It's like she's trying to cut me out of her life. I don't blame her. Kankri walks in. "Brother, you never watch the credits. Please, confine in me." He says and sits down next to me. "Its just Nepeta. Same it's been all week." I reply. "You said she won't answer you. So make her listen." He says. "How? Go to her house?" I ask. "Precisely." He answers. "I'm not desperate." I reply. "You aren't?" He asks. I glare at him. "My apologies. I hope I did not trigger you but from my observation your symptoms are those is a depressed person, and you certainly have some desperation qualities as well. I naturally presumed that you were those things." He begins to rant. Shit. "I'm gonna call her." I say and head to my room. It rings. And hits voice mail "Nepeta. Please. Just. Um. Meet me at the park tomorrow after school. I really just want to straighten things out with you... I'm sorry." I say.  
Now, no one cares what I'm doing until then so let's skip ahead.

I sit and wait on the hill in the park. The hill we laughed on. The hill where she taught me to climb a tree. The hill we slept on. And the hill we broke up on. It seems right to meet her here.

I wait. And wait. The sky is cloudy, the sun is bright, wind is blowing. Thank god for the giant trees around this area, I'd be burn in seconds without them.

Finally, I see her walking up. I stand. She looks different..

She is wearing A kind of purple/red/pink T-shirt. I think it's called megenta? Whatever.

The t-shirt has a lighter pink hollow heart on it. A hooded darker pink jacket with the sleeves scrunched up. Shorts that are the same as the jacket, and under them leggings the same color as her shirt. And she has a cross-body messenger bag the same color as the bright heart. No more cat hat...?

"Hi." She says with a sigh. "Hey. You look.. different." I reply. She grins. "Yeah, I wanted to start fresh. So... What did you want to say?" She asks. "Oh right. I um. I just wanted apologize. I was stupid. And I talked to Gamzee to understand things. And at the party I just lost it! I don't even get it.

Just. Seeing you so happy with someone else... It killed me. Every day since we broke up I regretted it but never said it because I figured it would be healthier to move on. But I couldn't. I still can't. It's just that..." I begin. Am I really going to say it? I have to. Its how I feel. "Just what?" She asks.

"I love you." I answer. Her eyes widen and she looks like a gust of ice cold wind just hit her.

"I can't let you go. If I do then I'll regret it forever. You make me forget about the shit that's happened to me. I've been loathing myself for over a week now, but not because of anything I complained about before. Just because I screwed things up with you. And I wont let something like this go. I can't let it go. Not after everything. I love you." I continue. I probably rambled on a little bit but I couldn't stop. She hugs me. A strong hug at that. Shit. I'm falling back! "Oof! Sorry!" She giggles.

We both start cracking up. "I love you to." She says and rests her head on my chest. I can't stop smiling now. I look at her, she closed her eyes. I think she's sleeping. I lay there until I fall asleep to.

I don't think I have ever been this happy.


	14. Chapter 14: Frozen

I wake up in the morning just like every day before. Nothing new. No big plans. Nothing has changed. There is one thing different though, but only one. I am in love with Nepeta Leijon and she loves me. This is a completely different feeling then I have ever had before. And there for it is the most magical feeling in the world. I walk into the kitchen and get some cereal like normal.

"Good morning brother." Kankri says. "Morning." I reply. He looks up from his breakfast and straight ahead. "Karkat are you feeling ok?" He asks. "Yea. Why?" I reply. "You normally are much more hostile. And the tone of your voice is more pleasant as well." He says. "Um. Ok. Didn't I tell you what happened yesterday?" I ask. "No. You did not." He answers. "Oh, well Nepeta and I got back together. She changed her look a lot to so that was a shock. Oh, and I'm in love with her." I say casually with a grin. I know his reply should be funny. "You what? Your in love?! That is most wonderful and horrible thing that could happen! I mean, it is great you are in love but frankly are you sure about announcing something like that? It could be a nightmare for her at school, or for you. And have you considered how her parents feel about her dating someone older then she is? None the less being in love! Oh! Wait until they hear about this!" He begins to rant. "Kankri. Her parents are dead." I say. "Oh my goodness! I hope I didn't trigger her with anything I could have said! I simply must discuss her triggers the next time I see her!" Here we go. "Kankri no." I say. He starts ranting and I start zoning him out. I eat while he continues to NOT shut the fuck up. Once I finish I wave goodbye and leave.

School was as boring as usual. But after school is where things got interesting.

I walk out of the school and get tackled to the ground by none other then Nepeta. A bunch of kids start laughing at us and cracking jokes, but I ignore them. "Nepeta, do you have to do that?" I ask.

"Of coarse Karkitten!" She answers and sits back. Still sitting on me though. Wait. Kar'kitten'?

"Don't tell me this new look means I have a new nick name." I complain. "It does!" She replies.

"Wait a second. Don't you only get out of school at 4? What are you going here?" I ask.

"We had a half day today! I don't know why though. I wasn't paying attention when they announced it." She answers. "Ok then. Now could you get the hell off me?" I reply. She giggles and nods before getting up. I stand up after her and put my arm around her. I can see a somewhat shocked look on her face. "What? Can't a guy put an arm around his girlfriend when perverted douche bags keep eying her?" I ask and subtlety point to a group of 3 guys staring with their perverted grins.

She blushes lightly and rests her head on my shoulder. "What do you want to do today?" I ask as we start walking. "I already set it up!" She answers. "But first!" She jumps in front of my with excitement spread across her face. "We have to go to your apartment so I can speak with Kankri!" She says. "Uh, why on earth would you want to talk to Kankri of all people?" I ask. "You'll see!" She replies and grabs my arm. "Lets go!" She says and starts pulling me along.

Once we get back to my place she starts jumping in place as she waits for me to unlock it.

I open the door and she flies in. Kankri of coarse was reading his book on the couch until she raced in and jumped over the back of the couch, landing right next to him with wide happy eyes.

"Uhhh." He says at the sight of her. He blushes slightly, I'm guessing because of the last time he saw her. "Kankri. I need to speak with you." She says, I think this is the fastest I have ever heard her talk. What the fuck is so important? He clears his throat and sits up straight. "Yes?" He asks.

She pauses and looks over at me. "Karkitten. This is a private matter if you don't mind." She giggles with her nose in the air. I chuckle, clearly she is making fun of Kankri. I love her for that.

I go to my room and close the door. Of coarse I am listening in all the same,but screw you!

"Now, before you start ranting for anything I would like to apologize for last time but if you go on a chattering rampage again I will have to think of something to make you stop. This is your warning.

Next, if there was a nice girl your age who liked you, would you want to date her?" She asks. Wait. Is she setting him up?! Oh shit! That's gonna be hilarious! "I.. What brought this on?! As I appreciate the warning I do not believe it is necessary to-hmpphh!" Umm.. I think she just covered his mouth.

"Don't start purrlease." Ok, yeah. Just covered with her hand. Phew!

"My sister made a friend last week who just started collage. And because of Meulin's love fur shipping she asked her if she would be interested in anyone if we found somebody. She is going to your collage and she is super nice! She's really elegant and loves to read. She is a little shy I think but you would like her! Would you meet her?!" She asks. Damn, I think she might have actually found someone who can tolerate him! Maybe... I have never really pictured him with anyone..

Oh shit he's talking. "Well I suppose meeting her wouldn't hurt but the idea of a blind date seems fairly un-real to me. I would hate to show up and not get along with her at all." He replies.

"Oh but Kankritter! Karkitten and I met on a blind date!" She whines. Good point. And a side note, HAHAHA! Did she just call him Kankritter?! I starts laughing at out loud, shit.

"Karkitten! How dare you listen in!" She yells and opens my door. "I have no idea what you are talking about. I wasn't laughing at your nickname for him or anything..." I joke. She giggles.

"Well what are your thoughts on the matter?" She asks. "I think it would be hilar-a great idea for him to go on the date." I answer, she turns back to him and grins. "It's two against one Kankritter! You loose!" She says as puts her hand on her hips and straightens up. "I suppose your logic is correct however I am not comfortable doing this." He replies. "Nope. Your going!" She says.

"No I'm not." He replies and folds his arms as he stands up. I see her get a evil grin. This can't be good. At least not for him. "Hehehe." She chuckles and gets in pounce stance. "Tackle pounce!" She shouts and does just that. They fall to the floor and she pins him down. "Get off of me this instant!" He yells. "No! Not until you agree to go!" She yells back. And for about ten minutes or more I sit back and watch them argue.

"Your going!"

"No I'm not!"

"Yes your are!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes!"

"Nooo!"

"You will go or so help me I will tickle you until you can't breath!"

He pauses. Wait. Are you serious? My girlfriend is just ridiculous as my brother!

"No no no no nooo!" He yells and struggles with all his might. She begins to tickle him.

Shit, he looks harder to hold down now then he did when he was trying to get away. I didn't even know he was so ticklish. They end up rolling around as he squirms. I gotta give props to her for keeping on him. He starts trying to push her away as his limbs flail around. But as soon as he pushes one hand away it comes right back.

"Kankri, are you kidding me? Just push her shoulders or something." I say. She looks back at me, "Karkitten! Don't help him!" She shouts. He starts pushing her shoulders and collar bone rapidly. "But it's so sad that he can't get up and you guys have been like that for over ten minu-" We all freeze. "E-e-eh..." She stutters and slowly turns her head back to look at him. His eyes are wide open just like ours, he turns his head slightly to see what he just did.

If you couldn't figure it out by now. His hand. Is on. Her. Boob. I will kill him if she doesn't.

"M-my apologies" He stutters and removes his hand. Her hair is standing on end and she looks as stiff as a board. "Kankri... What was that?" She chokes out the words. "Well, you, I , um. I didn't, uh. Accident, it, was. I, er." For once he can't talk. I hear her making that moaning sound cats make when they're pissed. "Hiisssssssssssssssssss!" She starts scratching him up. Holy shit she has sharp nails! There are cuts forming on the shoulders of his sweater and some on his cheeks and forehead.

I would stop her... But if she doesn't hurt him I will. "BlaaaAaahhhh" Yup. That's his yell of pain.

"I will scratch your eyes out!" She screams. "Karkat! Help is needed!" He yells. "I don't think so. Your the one who groped her!" I reply. "I didn't mean to!" He yells back. I am loving this.

I sigh and stand up. I walk over to them and pull her off. "I'm not done with you Kankri!" She yells as I drag her away. "Nepeta calm down. You've made your point." I say to try and calm her down. I'm not doing a very good job of it huh? Frankly I'm still pissed at him. But if both of us go crazy he could get killed. Literally. "Aren't you mad at all?!" She asks. "Pfft. I'm angry as fuck but if I beat him up to he'll probably get way more hurt then he needs to be." I answer. I still have a hold on her to be safe, but it hard to hold her still. He sits up and looks down at his sweater that now is basically shoulder-less. "Uhhh." He stands up, walks into the bathroom, and looks in the mirror. His mouth gapes open at the sight of his blood. He really cut him up good. "Nepeta. How sharp are your nails?" I ask. She holds up a hand to show me. "Damn. What the hell?" I ask and release her. "What kind of cat doesn't have claws?" She replies. "Good point. You ok Kankri?" I ask. "Do you see this? Do you see this blood? These cuts? I do not think I am ok!" He replies. "He's fine. Don't be a baby." Nepeta says. "Well I hope you realize I can't possibly go out with anyone with these cuts all over my face." He says. "I guess your right... I'll tell her you got injured so it can be rescheduled" She replies with a smile. "Oh all right." He sighs. "Want me to clean the cuts for you?" She asks.

"Sure. It would be quite helpful." He answers. Get gets a wet towel and starts wiping off his face.

"And if you don't mind my asking, I have been meaning to ask about any possible triggers you have." He says. Oh shit. "What's a trigger?" She asks. "A trigger can have a wide variety of definitions however the most common use is something that bothers or upsets you. It could be something that reminds you of a bad memory, however some use the term 'triggered' when they are angry as well." Aaaand we lost him. She steps back and leans over to me. "What do we do now?" She whispers.

"You could kiss him again but I would be much more comfortable if you never did that again." I reply.

"Ehehe.. Umm.. I have an idea." She says and puts her face very close to his. With his nose in the air and his eyes closed he doesn't notice. "Kankri." She whispers. Shit it didn't work. She sighs and presses her mouth to his neck.. Wait, what the fuck is she doing?! His words fade away as he begins to blush. My jaw drops. "N-Nepeta?" He stutters. My thoughts exactly! "Nom." She says quietly and bite down on his neck. "Gah!" He jumps. "Shut the furrick up for 5 minutes Kankritter." She says with her K9 teeth still stabbing into his skin. He whimpers slightly and she releases him.

Ok, that was pretty funny.

I guess flesh contact is really the only thing that bothers him enough to keep him quiet. Cause my yelling only works half the time. But there is no way I am touching in unless it is with my fist.

"You should really be careful with your rants." She says and gets a evil glare in her eyes.

"It could be... Triggering."

A jolt shoots up his spine and his eyes widen with realization. "Oh my..." He mumbles. Shit.

"Um, Nep. I think you broke him." I say. "Oh. Too much?" She asks. I nod. "It's ok Kankritter I was just trying to mess with you. Uh. No one could be triggered by your talking I mean.. Uh. Purrlease snap out of it." She tries to apologize. It fails. He is motionless. How long has it been since he last blinked? This is not good. Not good at all.

I sigh and put my hand on her shoulder. "Do whatever it takes." I say. I can not believe I am telling her to do this... He is my brother... She takes a deep breath and leans close to him. She glances back at me and sighs. "Sorry." She says softly and um.. Whaaaat the ever loving fuck?

"Nepeta. Did you just. _Lick_ him?" I ask. "Yes. But he is blinking again." She replies.

She just. Did she? Just. Lick his mouth? He's getting farther with her then me! I want to punch him.

He is snapping out of it far to slowly. "Oh this isn't working very well is it?!" She whines. I scratch the back of my head. "Let me try." I say and step in front of him. I grab his shoulders and slap him across the face. Shit. She messed with his head fucking good! "Kankri snap the fuck out of it already!" I yell. We look at each other. I pull him to a empty space and sit him down. He's like a robot.. We sit in front of him and take turns messing with him. I hit him, yell at him, ect.

She pokes him, tickles him, scratches him. And this goes on for a little while.

"Oh I am so sick of this!" She yells and scooches closer to him. She puts her mouth right next to his ear. "WAKE THE FURRICK UP ALREADY!" She screams and to top it off, bites down on his ear incredibly hard. "g-Grahhh!" He yells in pain. I let out a sigh of relief and she releases him.

"Am I going to be injured _every_ time I see you?!" He asks. "Pawsibly." She answers.

We both start chuckling and soon bursting with laughter for no reason. He just stares at us in confusion as we laugh our heads off and fall over every time we try to sit up. "Oh my gosh!" Nepeta says and springs up. "What?" I ask. "I forgot about the plans I made for us!" She answers. "We must go right now!" She stands up, grabs my arm, pulls me up and starts leading me out. "Um ok." I reply.


	15. Chapter 15: What then?

"Nepeta, where are we?" I ask. We stopped in front of a house with a not very well kept yard, and some.. Interesting marks on it. There are flashing lights coming through a window as well.

"You said you wanted to meet Equius." She says. "This is where he lives?" I ask. "Yea! I know it's not very pretty but he likes it here. Just try to be polite and don't insult his horses." She says and leads me to the door. "Horses?" I ask as she rings the doorbell. "He really likes them." She replies.

He comes to the door and stares at me. "Equius!" She squeals and pushes the door all the way open to catch him in a hug. He doesn't hug her back for some reason but he does smile a little.

"Hello Nepeta. Who is your friend." He asks when she let's him go. "This is my boyfriend Karkitten!" She answers and hugs my arm. "Don't tell him to cal me Karkitten! Ugh, my name is Karkat." I reply. "Hello. I would appreciate it if you did not snap my at moirail in such a manner." He says. "What the fuck is a moirail?" I ask. "It's a name we made up! It's like the ultimate level of best friend, you can only have one moirail and it is their job to protect and listen to you. You have the same job to them." She explains. "Oh. Uh ok." I reply. I stick out my arm to shake his hand. He seems nervous, but he reaches out as well. Holy fuck! Shit shit shitting fuck! My hand is going numb! It's fucking going numb. He releases. "Eh, my apologies." He says. "Eh! Uh, sure. No problem." I choke out the words. Pain... "Please, come in." He says and steps aside. Nepeta skips in, I follow behind her kind of nervously.

As soon as you get into the house your in a hallway, I think the kitchen is to the left.

We go to the right and it takes us to a living room with a door at the back wall, probably his bedroom.

"I'll make some tea." Nepeta says and skips off to the kitchen.

I sit on the couch, Equius in a chair facing me.

"Now I'm sure you know that Nepeta is my moirail. Which means with her parents absent, I will be the judge of your character." He starts. "Uhh.. Yeeeaaahh." I reply. This guys creeps me out...

"What is your age?" He asks. "I'm uh, 17." I answer. "What?! This is obsered! I refuse to let you touch my Nepeta! She is too young for you! Do you not see this?!" He starts yelling.

"Woah, hang on a sec. I've been thinking that for a long time and pretty much everyone I know has given me crap about it. It's not a big deal and we haven't really fooled around at all so you don't need to worry about me moving things to fast." I reply. I sounded like a huge fucking dork right then.

"I will move on for now but if I find anything else that bothers me you will leave her alone." He says.

"No way! That's not your decision!" I snap. He stands up and folds his arms.

"Fuck.." I mumble. "What did you just say?" He asks. Fuck fuck fuck. How is she friends with this brute?! Nepeta walks back in the room with her hands on her hips.

"Equius. Are you being nice?" She asks. He unfolds his arms. "Of coarse Nepeta. Might I have a word with you?" He replies. "Sure Equihiss!" She says and they walk out of the room.

How the fuck did they become friends? How did she get him to listen to her? What the hell.

I wait. And wait. And then I hear a yell. "No!" She shouts from another room.

I stand up. "But Nepeta! You must listen to me! He is not a proper suitor for you!" He begs.

Holy shit, this is awesome! "You will end things with him at once!" He yells.

"Equius..." She hisses. I haven't heard that tone of voice before.

"Nepeta?"

"Equius.." More of an angry growl this time.

"N-Nepeta?" Shit, is he afraid of her?

"Nepeta this is foolish! You must calm down at once and listen to me!"

"Equius!" She scream hisses.

"Oh sweet sugar ice tea..."

Ok, that's enough listening. I step into the room and see her on his back with an arm around his neck like she could choke him and her nails digging into this shoulders.

"What the fuck?" I ask, not intending for anyone to answer. She turns her head to see me, her face is as innocent as ever. "What the hell Nep?" I ask. "Oh, hi Karkitty." She says.

"I require assistance!" Equius yells. "I don't know. If Nepeta and I are going to break up like you want I'm afraid I can't help you. It would make it much worse for us all." I say and lean against the doorway. I check my nails like a snob while I talk to make it look like I don't give a fuck.

And to make Nepeta laugh. "Yeah! You wouldn't want me to cry would you?" Nepeta says, I love how she plays along with whatever happens. She tightens her grip.

"Fine fine! I will not object anymore!" He pleads. She climbs off of him and gives him and hug.

Then she skips over to me and kisses me on the cheek with a giggle.

"You were awesome." I say with a playful tone and hug her.

"Thank you." She replies with just as playful of a voice. I hug her tight for a second and then release her. I look at my phone to see what time it is. "Oh, I gotta go." I say.

"Ok." She replies. We head out the door and I open the car door for her of coarse.

"Bye Equius!" She shouts before closing the door. I start taking her back to her apartment.

"Nepeta. It's gonna be summer soon. We might not get to see each other much with traveling.

And after that I'm going to graduate. What are we going to do then?" I ask with a sigh.

I keep looking forward but I can see her turning to look at me.

"Well, if anything we can purrobably see each other more in the summer. But after you graduate..

I don't know. I will still be high school for a few more years.. After that I'm going to an art school.

We can still see each other on weekends." She replies. "I guess.. We still have time. Let's make the best of it for now." I say. I'm dodging the end. I know it will come.

She will stay in school while I go to collage. We wont be able to see each other much, even on weekends because of homework or other friends. Sure we will start off committed but we will run into trouble. And when she goes to collage there will be no way. We will probably have to break up before then. And if we don't then we wont be in a good relationship. There will be the label but we wont actually be seeing each other. I don't want us to have to break up. We just got back together so the idea scares me. A lot. But we have summer, and the rest of the year until graduation.

I guess we will be ok for now. But I wish it could last forever...

It has been weeks. Everything is going good, really everything.

Even Kankri is dating that bookworm. I haven't really met her, she has only been over a few times and either me or them were busy. I don't remember her name because of that.

But at least he is happy. Nepeta and me have been going out a lot.

Going on double dates with Sollux and Feferi has become habit already.

I've been happy. Much happier. But at night...

These lingering thoughts about the future stay in my head. But I push them aside. I try to anyway.

You know when it is late at night and you remember every cringe worthy thing you have every done all at once? It's like that but it's the fucking future instead. I don't get it at all.

I don't want things to end. I really really don't...

It can't. Not the way I see it. Drifting apart seems to hurt. Probably worse then just ending it.

I don't know. It's just hard. Hard to happy, hard to ignore, everything sucks.

And I still haven't gotten as far with her as Kankri did! That is so fucking annoying!

Sure, their encounters were by mistake. But come on!

Yeah yeah yeah, Karkat is a perv, whatever! I'm a guy, sue me!

== Be Nepeta

I'm laying on the couch in Meulin's lap. Venting.

"So what's even the problem?" She asks. "Everything! Ok not really. But even though we are having such a good time when we see each other and things are going great, there is something wrong.

He brought up the future a few weeks ago." I begin. "He did not say you should get married!" She shouts. So silly. "No you goof! He made it sound like we have to break up! Like, next year he is graduating. And when that happens he will go off to collage, I will still be in school. And when I do get out it will be 2 years later, and I will be going to that art school if I get in. We will fade away Meulin! Fade. Awaaaayy!" I rant and throw my arms in the air as I finish.

"I see your problem. Unfortunately I don't have the slightest clue what to do. I mean. I guess the only thing you can do is remember what will happen and keep it in mind so when it does happen it wont feel like such a shock." She replies. "I guess.." I sigh.

"I just feel like its already ending. But when we see each other we're still in love. Which we are. But when we're apart it feels like a tragic love instead." I continue. She hugs me tightly. "So many feels." She squeals quietly. I start giggling and soon we both start cracking up. "We're awesome." I laugh. "Yeah we are!" She replies. I love her. She makes me feel better. I won last forever but I feel better right now and I like right now better then later.

== Be Karkat again

I'm laying on my bed thinking about it all. Still. I know I should talk to someone about it and vent but who do I tell? Sollux doesn't understand, everyone's girlfriends are the same age so they don't have to worry about it. Gamzee is Gamzee. Kankri would give me a fucking earful if I told him... would he?... ugh I don't know anything anymore! I can't believe I am thinking about telling that obnoxious douche. He has been right about things before.. No! Nope. I shouldn't.

But it might help. But he is gonna say how he told me dating someone younger would be bad.

I stand up and start pacing between the door and my bed.

On one hand he could be helpful, but on the other hand he could be really snarky about it.

But he could be sympathetic, or he could be rude. There is really know way of knowing...

I should probably just tell him and find out. Yeah. Wait. No, yeah. ok.

I walk into the living room and look around. Must be in his room because he isn't out here.

I knock on his bed room door with no answer. Whatever, I turn around to go back to my room when I hear a thud from inside. I guess he is in there. Probably napping and fell out of bed.

It's happened before. I open his door and step in, "Hey Kankri can I ta-" I freeze when I see him.

Oh my god. This is so fucking funny. And weird. Very out of the ordinary that's for fucking sure.

I'm blushing slightly at the scene I just walked in on. _They_ are frozen to.

He is in his desk chair with a leg up on the desk, that was the thud I heard I guess.

And straddling him is this new girlfriend of his. This is the last thing I would have expected to see.

Their faces are small inches away from each other and they are staring over at me.

They are also blushing briiiiiight red, him more then her.

His mouth opens to speak but so words come out. I get a big smart-ass grin across my face.

"Hahaha. Have fun Kankri." I say as I close the door.

That was fucking gold. Oh my god I have to tell someone about this.

I snicker as I head back to my room. Wait. Damn it! I still have this problem!Uuuuuuuugggggghhhh. I flop back down on my bed and cover my eyes and forehead with my hands. This sucks. I let out a long sigh.

What is gonna happen to us? I love her. But long distance relationships never work. Do they?

I haven't heard of it working. One of us would end up feeling like it was already over and cheating.

That is if we don't end it. I sure as hell am not ending it now or anything. But we are supposed to think of the future, aren't we? I don't even know. I wonder if she is feeling the same...


	16. Chapter 16: It's gonna be ok

-Months in the future-

"Are you ok?" I ask Nepeta. We are sitting in the car, but she normally likes car rides.

Blasting the music and rolling down the windows. But she turned the volume down and rolled the windows up. This is really really weird. I mean, I have less then a week left until graduation but still.

She always stays on the positive side of things, this must be serious.

Things have been going good. Really good. The worries about the future calmed down and I forgot about them. She seemed to also. But today, she has been acting really weird. For the past few days actually, today is just the worst. "Yeah. I'm fine." She answers with a obviously fake smile.

"Nepeta. I know something is bothering you. Just tell me. Please." I beg. I can't believe this.

Not only am I actually begging for something but it's something that Nepeta of all people wont tell me.

"Can you just drop it?!" She snaps. Her outburst is followed by her own gasp at the fact she just snapped at me. "Pfft. Don't worry. I'm used to that." I reply. "Kar-" She starts to say when I pull to a stop and cut her off. "Here's you place." I keep looking out the window.

She gets out and walks inside, I drive away before she gets to her door though.

When I get home I don't even pause at Kankri's greeting but instead just go straight to my room.

I left my phone at home apparently because it is buzzing on my desk while plugged into the charger.

I unplug it and check to see what it was.

Fuck! Nepeta was messaging and calling me ever since I dropped her off... Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Voice mail! Yes!

"Karkitten please answer me! I really need to talk to you! I lied, everything is not ok! I don't know how to tell you though. Please meet me on the hill as soon as you can."

Fuck. I put the phone in my pocket and head back to the door.

"Where are you going? You just got home." Kankri asks. "I'm meeting with Nepeta. It's important." I answer and take my leave.

It doesn't take long to get to the park, as soon as I get there I see her hugging her knees under the tree.

I race up to her and as soon as she sees me she stands up.

"What is it?" I ask. She just hugs me in reply for the moment.

"I'm sorry. But. You know how we talked about how we would get to see each other still? Even after we both have graduated." She begins. "Yeah. Why? What happened?" I ask.

She releases me from the hug before answering. "The collage I want to go to looks into grades and records early on. They have already started scouting at our school. I had to send in a notice that I'm interested in going there and they said that I can be accepted early if I fill out the forum and have Meulin's approval.." She continues. "You mean?" I look down.

"I got in." She says, her voice is worrying. Like she is going to cry.

"So what's the problem? How soon are you leaving?" I ask and put my hands on her shoulders.

"Not until after Christmas. The school approved me going without graduation here so.." She still sounds very worried. Like there is more. Christmas isn't to big of a deal.

"So? I mean. This is great, I'm really proud of you! But I wish it wasn't so soon. We should do something really great before you leave. We don't have to worry about me because I'm going to school here. And-" I begin. "It's in Boston." She cuts me off. She is staring at the ground, between that and her hair in her face I can't see her expression. But I have a feeling it is the verge of tears judging by her voice. I am in complete shock. Why didn't she tell me it was out of the fucking state?!

"I know I should have told you but I figured by the time I got in something might have happened to break us up, or we would have had an even stronger relationship so it wouldn't matter. I was hoping fur the second option... What are we gonna do now?!" She continues and lifts her head up to look at me.

"I love you..." She says and hugs me. "Hey. Come on, we'll be fine... We have until Christmas right? Let's make the best of it. You said you like to look on the bright side of things right? To stay positive? That's what we'll do." I say in the most sympathetic tone I can pull off.

Wait. Is she? There are tears soaking into my shirt. She never cries though.

I push her off, keeping my hands on her arms, and bend down enough to be eye to eye with her.

Here eyes are different somehow. There is an effect that the sunset and her tears are making.

It's beautiful, full of emotion, it gives a vibe that shows everything she is feeling.

All the way into the back of her mind. Every bit of pain she has ever felt is seeping out into one blow of emotion. She always holds it in so well. I guess when one wall breaks it is easy for them all to tumble down. She sniffles, which brings me back to reality.

"I love you to." I say calmly and hug her. Her legs are weak, she stops using them, I go with it and fall down to my knees with her. I refuse to let go of her. I keep the tight embrace going and wait for her to hug me back. When she finally does I feel more tears in my shirt, she is shaking silently, and her nails are digging into my back. "You don't have to hold it in Nep. Let it out. For me." I whisper and sit back onto my feet. She pauses for a second, and then sobs pour out of her.

Loud, painful, cries of lost hope and broken hearts. She has been through kind of a lot.

She loves so many people, so many things, and some of the best things have been ripped away from her. Now She and I have to be separated as well. This must be killing her.

Listening to her cries is killing me to. We stay like this for a minute, though it feels like forever.

I rock her back and forth gently to try and comfort her. It doesn't help really, but I feel like I should do something. Shit, no. Tears come racing to my eyes when I hear her loudest whales of pain.

"Shooooosh. Shoosh.. Shoosh. It's ok..." I whisper, though I;m not very convincing since I'm crying now. "I-.. I'm, so... Sorry." She says softly in between hics and cries. "It.. It's ok Nep. Everything will be ok." I reply.

Eventually we fall over and let the cries fade away until we are sleeping.

Only to be awakened by my phone. She is still sleeping so I answer it as fast as I can.

"Yeah?" I say weakly, seeing as I am half asleep still.

"Karkat! Where are you!? Is everything ok?! You never came home! What happened?!" Kankri starts screaming into the phone, I hold it away from my ear until he finishes.

"Calm the fuck down. It's fine. Just... Fine. We just fell asleep at the park. Listen, I'll be home in a bit, we might go have breakfast or something so I'll see you later. But now is not the time to talk about it. She is still sleeping and she went through a lot last night so I need to let her rest." I reply.

Be fore he can say anything else I hang up and lay back down.

She is so peaceful I brush some hair out of her face gently, the sight of her piece reminds me of last night. There has to be a way to explain that look in her eyes when she started crying. I can't imagine how she looked when she was sobbing. I feel awful. Like I just watched her being tortured.

It was a nightmare, and it isn't over yet. What are we going to do? Really?

Is it really as simple as ride it out and say goodbye when the time comes? It sounds easy but I know it wont be. I will have to say goodbye to the first girl I ever _truly_ loved. I let my hand rest on her face still as I think about it all. Until she moves, her eyes open slowly and she turns onto her back a little.

She looks at the sky, then back at me. "Morning." She says softly. It sounds like there was something lifted off of her. Her voice is soft, like an angle. How long was she holding that all in?

"We should get something to eat huh?" I ask. She gives me a gentle smile and nods.

I sit up with her following, and give her a hand so we can stand up together.

I don't let go of coarse, we stroll down the hill and to the cafe.

The sun is still rising some of the way, there is a very small amount of clouds, and birds are flying from tree to tree.

For now this moment, this moment right here, everything is right with the world.

Even if there is a pain in the back of my head. Something about this just feels amazing.

I am holding hands with the girl I love during sunrise. Who could ask for more?


	17. Chapter 17: Christmas time

**((I wrote this and the next chapter on my hone because i was out of town again, so let me know if ato correct changed someone's name or something. I will fix it right away!))**

-Christmas time-

I walk through the door after a long day of not only having to clean but take Nepeta's sale shift for whatever important thing she had to do. If it was someone else I would have said no.

I walk straight to my room and dump my bag on the floor when I freeze.

What did I just walk past? Is that a giggle? I back out of my room and look around.

"This is what you ditched work for?" I ask Nepeta. "I didn't ditch! And sort of, I decorated my apartment instead of working. Then I came here to help Kankri!" She answers.

The room has red tindle all along the top of the room. It is basically outlining the ceiling.

Then there are little ornaments hanging from it. Right now she is standing on a chair, trying to tie a snowflake onto a string already attached to the ceiling.

Wait, how the fuck did they put that up? We are all on the short side.

"How on earth did you put that up there?" I ask. "Equius is here!" Nepeta beams.

Aw fuck! "Hello again." He says from behind me. I slowly turn around and jump back at the sight of him. Oh my god, "Nepeta did you make him wear that?" I was, turning my head back to her.

"At first yes, until he found out raindeer are like horses." She answers.

"Is the hoofbeast of Christmas not axceptable to you?" He asks. It's not like some weird costume, but I was not expecting to see him with antlers on. Or the rudof nose.

"Nono, it's fine. Just unexpected." I answer, trying not to make this brute angry.

"Karkat, could you pass me some tape?" Kankri asks from the kitchen. I grab the tape off of the coffee table and bring it over, he is attaching a fabric snowflake onto the cabinate door.

"Thank you." He says when I hand it to him. "What is the point of all this anyway?" I ask the room.

"Kankritter told me how you guys didn't decorate at all last year! I think the decorations are what make it really feel like Christmas." Nepeta answers. "And we are to short to reach the really high things so I got Equius. He can get you a tree to if you want?" She asks. Can she really just choose what he does?

He's like a little dog! Or, horse I guess. "Um ok. What should I do?" I ask.

She just looks at me and smiles, she really likes this kind of thing huh? Probably didn't think I would help so willingly though. The thing is, now I know that she likes these sappy traditional things, I need to do something like this for her. She is leaving after Christmas break, which wont be much longer.

Christmas itself is 2 days away. I have been trying to get her something great but I can't think of anything. I know I wasted time but if I got her something it would mean it was soon, and if it is soon, she will leave soon. I didn't want it to feel like that.

But that's beside the point. I want to do something really big. She is going to an art school, so it has to be something inspirational. I have heard about a light show down town, that's where I want to take her, but it doesn't seem like it is enough. We need something to attach memories to.

I don't even know where to start. In the movies they take the girl to a bunch of little places she likes and then finish it off with something amazing. The amazing thing can be the light show, but what else am I supposed to do? I want it all to be in town, or at least on the way, Kankri and I have some decent connections there so it would be easier. And we wouldn't have to rush to the show.

It will be on Christmas eve. I have until then to figure it out.

I have already made calls, so wherever we go will be ok. I think something nice for dinner, but that might just be the cafe since she loves it so much. But does that come before it after?

I don't know what I'm supposed to do really. I know what they do in the movies, but she is different then those girls. So I'm gonna have to wing it I guess.

-Picking her up-

"She will be out in a second. Why don't you come in Karkat." Meulin says, inviting me into the apartment. She leads me to the couch and sits down across from me.

"Now I understand you are teenagers, and she will be leaving soon. But it you so much as touch that girls leg, I will scratch off your face, but not your eyes. You eyes will let you watch the horror on everyone's faces when they see you. Then you will be the red eyed faceless man. Children will either throw rocks at you, or they will scream in horror and run. Adults will try to push you around if they are rude, or they will try to stay as far away from you as possible out of fear that you will steal their face.

I will also sigh the back on your head by cutting my name into it with my nails.

And when you grow old and are bald, you will have to look at that scar for the rest of your life.

You will think to yourself everyday, 'why did I have to push it to far?! Why didn't I listen to her sister's detailed threat!?' until you die." She rants. I am trying to sit as far away from her as possible, which is hard because the climbed onto the couch during her rant and inched her way over to me.

Showing me her long, sharp as fuck nails. I am now curled up in the corner of the couch, and she is hovering over me with an arm drawn back like she could strike me at any second.

"Meulin!" Nepeta giggles. "Oh, hey Nep." She replies and stands up. These girls are crazy.

Fucking crazy. "Karkitten, I have something fur you!" She says and holds up a bag.

"Really?" I ask and stand up. "Of coarse silly! Now go put it on!" She beams and holds it out for me to take. Which I do, then I head to the bathroom to change.

I come back out in a insanely brown outfit. Brown shirt, long darker brown jacket with plenty of pockets, hightops the same color as the jacket, and light brown jeans. To be honest it looks pretty bad ass.

(Here is what they look like now, but without the knight of blood simbol and the jacket is not ripped.

post/44289626479/neonglub-asked-can-you-pretty-ple ase-with-cherry )

"Eeee! It looks great on you!" Nepeta squeals. "Thanks, you didn't have to get me an entire outfit you know." I reply. "But I wanted to! Nefurr deny a girls shopping!" She continues to squeal.

"Ok. Well, we better get going." I say and walk closer to the door. "Ok!" She beams and beats me there. "See you later Meulin!" She says as she exits. I look back at her sister and she makes a death sign with her hands. I gulp and follow Nepeta out. "So where are we going?" She asks as we walk down the stairs. "It's a surprise." I answer. "Cool!" She beams. Man, she is excited today.

It is already getting pretty dark out, but that's exactly what I was planning on.

I open her door for her to let her in the car, then climb in. "Isn't Kankritter gonna need the car to see Aranea?" She asks. "Nope, she is already at the apartment." I answer.

"Oh cool!" She replies. "How are things going with them anyway?" She asks.

"Well, I have walked in on them making out more then that one time. And he sure seems happier with all his obnoxious humming. So I'd say pretty good." I answer. "That's good then." She giggles.

It takes some time to get down town but once we are there I find a parking spot on the street to leave the car. I think one of those walking around dates would be nice.

She hugs my arm as we start walking, I should be used to it by now, but I still blush.

"Where do you want to go?" I ask. "You made it sound like you had a plan." She replies.

"I do, but it wont be until later. For now we are going to walk around and browse." I answer.

It will be easy, this part of town has a ton of little shops lined up down the streets.

"Oh my gosh! Look at that!" She beams. She moves her hand down my arm to grab my hand and pulls me along to a little shop with all kinds of plushies. "They're so cute!" She squeals, dragging me inside. I let go of her hand and watch her race around like a 5 year old, squealing about the cuddly little stuffed toys. Yup. This is the girl I love. I never would have thought I would fall for such a ball of energy. But I did. I zone out all noises as I watch her, a gentle smile forming across my face.

I still have a gift for her in the car, I wonder when I should give it to her.

It was supposed to be before we got out but I forgot. I guess it will wait until we are at the cafe later.

All of a sudden my zoned out mode comes to a halt when some ass holes push me out of the way as they come in. Jerks. Wait, they are going for Nepeta! Fuck no!

"Get away furrom me!" She yells. "Was that a cat pun? Looks like we got a little kitty cat here." One of them teases. 3 guys, great. "I said go away!" She continues to yell. "Back off ass hats." I say as I march over. They turn to me with annoyed looks on they're faces. "Sup shorty. Hows the weather down there?" The middle guys jokes and rests an elbow on my head. "About to be a fucking shit storm if you don't get out of here." I answer. Why are all of the jerks taller then me?! Every fucking time! I would ask why shit heads like these guys always target my girlfriend, but she is just that kind of cute girl. I get it. But it stills annoys the fuck out of me. "Someone has a mouth on them. I'd be careful if I were you." He replies. "I don't think I'm the one that's needs to watch it." I say and push his arm off my my head. "Lets go Nep." I say and grab her hand. We start walking out when the leader jerk grabs my shoulder. "We aren't finished here pipsqueak." He says. I let go of Nepeta's hand and turn around, swiftly punching his jaw and knocking him to the ground. The other to step back out of shock that I could do that. "That's it?" I ask. One of then races over and tries to do a far reach punch. I duck down to dodge it, then because of how he is standing above me I put my hands on his stomach, one on his shoulder and stand up, flipping him over my head. "The fuck?!" The other guy yells. "Pathetic." I say to myself and turn to walk out with Nepeta. The last guy standing comes from behind me and hooks my side. "Shit." I mumble. "Big mistake." I say, glaring up at him. I grab his sleeves and pull him down into my knee. The others have already gotten back up and are now both attacking. I turn to the side and nail one in the jaw with a kick. The other hits my gut with a low uppercut. He left his hand there long enough that I grab his wrist and turn around into a swift over the shoulder throw. Just when I think it would be over they all get up. They look tired but they are stubborn as shit. I step back to the door and wait. One comes at me, I dodge to the left, grab the back of his neck and forearm, then throw him out the door. The next one comes up and I prepare to do basically the same thing, but instead of me throwing him out he stops himself and we get kind of stuck there. Until Nepeta steps in, she springs backwards, using her hands to catch herself, then laughed off the wall and kicks him square in the face with both feet. I look back at her and we both grin a little. Then I turn back around to the last douche who now has a pocket knife. He races up to Nepeta beside me and tries to slash her face.  
"Little bitch!" He yells as he slashes.  
I stick my arm in front of her, shielding her face. "Ag! Shit." I say and grab my cut. I glare at him and grab the hand with the knife. I twist it around and push down, causing him to drop the knife and follow his hand to the ground. Once he is down on his knees I round house kick him, knocking him out like the others. I look over my shoulder, at the shop keeper, she looks about my age actually. She is standing there in slight shock. I walk over, "Sorry about that." I say, placing the jerk's knife on the counter. "Its fine." She replies, letting out a breath. The tips of my fingers are lingering on the counter as I extend my arm, turning away. "Do you uh. Have a girlfriend?" She stops me, I look back at her, retracting my arm with one more step. "Yeah." I answer, turning back to Nepeta who smiles at my answer. I guess because we have to break up in just a few day it seems. I walk back to the door and take Nepeta's hand.  
"Oh! Karkitten! Your bleeding!" She says, stopping us in our tracks. She grabs my arm and hold it up. There are clearly old streams of blood going down it. Plently of blood actually. It is the inside of my wrist after all, that's people try to kill themselves, but the cut would have to be deeper for there to be enough damage I would worry about. "Hm. That's kind of weird." She says while examining the cut. "What is?" I ask. "These 3 drops of blood are drying before they even get moving but they are thick enough that they should be streaming down fast." She answers. I look at it myself, she's right. One in the middle is farther down then the other 2, and airbrush cut at an angle like that I guess those second ones are really the same length. Not like it matters. "I'd better go wash it off." I say and start looking for a bathroom. "No. Its cool. Like, a mark of the knight." She stops me. "That's kind of cheesy." I chuckle. "Hehe! Yeah. I guess it is." She giggles. I grab her hand again and look at her cute smiling face. "Fucking knight of blood." I joke. "Yes! That's purrfect!" She beams and tugs on my arm. "What? I was joking!" I reply. She just laughs and hugs my arm. I guess it's kind of cute. If I have to have a title, that's a decently bad ass one.  
Well. After that we walk around for a while until the show starts.  
We look around for seats of some kind but there aren't any. It starts before I can think of a better set up then standing in a crowd. But I guess it doesn't matter to her, I look down at her as the lights reflect off of her face. Her eyes are big and just by looking at her I can see a ray of hope and purity. That's the Nepeta I know. Now this sad face I keep seeing in my mind. This is how things are meant to be. She hugs me from the side and I wrap my arm around her. This feels like the movie. I look around and see people clearing out, time flew by and the show ended. We calmly walk back to the car, i only remember what I got her after we get in. "Hang on." I sat and get out. I open up the trunk and pull out a square box wrapped in kitten paper. I get back in the car and hand it to her. "You did not get me anything! This whole night is plenty!" She says and bonks the side of my head. "To bad. Open it." I reply. She glares at me and does as I asked. "You didn't." She says. "I did. You had said it was important to you. But I figured you stopped wearing it because it clashed or something. So I fixed it." I reply. She puts it on and smiles wide. I changed the color of her cat hat thingy so it would match her new pink style. "I love you!" She squeals and clings her arms around my neck. "Love you to." I reply. She looks up at me, and me down at her. I pull her into a kiss. This is one of the moments I wish could last forever. I will always remember that happy look on her face during the lights, and the sad one on the hill. That way I can remember not to make her look so sad, and have motivation to make her have that hopeful face.


	18. Chapter 18: It will be fine

Today. She is leaving. I may never see her again. And I am dying inside.  
I'm sitting outside of her apartment with Kankri. They are having a little party for her getting into this special college program. Its why she gets to leave. I don't want to go in. If I go in I have to say goodbye. But if I don't she will look for me. I won't let her worry. And I won't let her be sad today. Thanks to Kankri I managed to get something special for her. She kept saying not to get her anything else after Christmas but I have to. And it was free after all. I let out a sight and get out of the car. Kankri follows me to the door. "Thollux you friend ith here." Some weird looking kid says when he opens the door. He has some stupid helmet on and under that his hair covers his eyes anyway.  
Then Sollux walks up. "Thankth tuna. Hey Kk. And older Kk." He says, stepping aside to let us in. "Who was that?" I ask. "Mituna. He'th my brother." He answers. I see Aranea waving from the other side of the room and Kankri goes straight over to her. That's one less problem. "How is it that there are just as many college kids here as high schoolers?" I ask. "You know Nepeta. She makes friendth with everybody." He answers. "Heh. Yeah. Where is she anyway?" I ask. "With Gamzee over there." He answers. We both walk over to the couch where she is resting her feet on Gamzee's lap and they are both laughing about whatever they were saying. "Karkitten!" She squeals and stands up on the couch. "Hey Nep." I reply. She lets out a loud squeal and tackles me to the ground. "God! Was that necessary?!" I shout. "Yes it was!" She replies. We both stand up and flop on the couch. I sit on an end, Sollux is in between me and Gamzee, and Nepeta is laying across all of us with her head on my lap. Our laughter has died down for the moment which makes it easy to hear the loud sound that comes. "AGRLFKML!" It heard from across the room. "Damn it tuna." Sollux says and gets up. We follow him over to his weird brother who is face down on the floor. He kneels down next to him, "What happened?" He ask. There is a bunch of muffled noises and then Sollux lets out a sigh.  
"You brought that one on yourself."  
More sounds I can't understand.  
"Yeah but that's not a very good solution."  
Noises.  
"Fine. But if it is such a good idea then you can lay by yourself." He stands up and turns away. Then Mituna grabs his pant leg and lifts his head. "Thorry.." he mumbles. Sollux turns back around and helps him up. How old is this kid? Surely he isn't in college. "Your so cute!" Nepeta squeals and hugs him. "Uhhhhhhhhhhh." Is his only reply. "Hehe! How old are you again?" She asks and backs out of the hug. "20." He answers. Wait. No way! Oh my god, he is like a little kid and he is in college! "Your like an adorable little brother! Why are you wearing that though? It hides your hair." She continues to sueal and removes his helmet. "Guuhhh.." He doesn't really know what to do I guess. "Oh my gosh! Meulin come here!" She calls out. In just a second Meulin shows up.

"Look at his hair! Isn't he so cute!" Nepeta squeals. "Why didn't you tell me your hair was so cool?!" Meulin chimes in and ruffles his shaggy, straight, black hair.

He just keeps uuuuh-ing the entire time. "How are you single?! Oh my gosh I just wanna kiss you!" Meulin continues. How does that happen? They continue to fawn over him while me and Sollux stand there awkwardly. "Let me see something!" Meulin says and steps close to him. She puts one arm around his neck to hold him still and the other arm messes with the back of his hair. He tenses up at this and Sollux starts chuckling. Mituna starts mumbling and Meulin giggles. "Nepeta I think his hair is softer in the back. Feel this." She says. "Really?" Nepeta asks and joins her in messing with his hair. "Your right!" She squeals. His mumbling gets louder and Sollux gets a smirk spread across his face like he knows something. Turns out the mumbling is just him making panicked akdhja noises. I know this because he finally snapped and raised his voice. Which means Sollux's smirk is very wide now. "Th-thorry." He mumbles and tugs at his black and yellow shirt. "Aaaw!" They both squeal... Are you kidding me?! Whatever. Girls are always stupid about so called cute things.

They both briefly hug him and Nepeta turns to me while Meulin stays there with him.

"Hehe! I wonder what you would look like with longer hair...?" She says kind of quietly.

"Not gonna happen." I reply. She just giggles and grabs my arm. "I want you to meet more people." She says and starts dragging me along. "This is Meenah." She says. The girl we are standing in front of is just as weird as the others. 2 very long braids, pink glasses, a crop top, and baggy jeans. Her glasses remind me of librarians. "Sup shorty." She says. She has a geto sound to her and almost an Australian accent. But I'm not sure. "Hey." I reply. "What, don't you have a name pipsqueak?" She asks. "This is Karkitten! Er, Karkat I mean." Nepeta chimes in. "Pfffffft. Karkitten? Don't tell me you got that name for being as 'soft' as your bro!" She laughs. When she calms down she puts her elbow on my shoulder and looks over at Kankri. "That little nugget there has been a fucking nightmare since he started dating the book worm. They both have talking and grammar issues, won't shut up. Ever." She continues. "Try living with him. But it's actually the opposite for me, I don't really hear them talking. Always stealing my movies though. You should have been there the times he didn't tell me she was coming over. Fucking funny scenes." I joke. "Ha! You mean you caught the goody-2-shoes making out?!" She laughs. "Did I hear my name a minute ago?" Kankri asks. Shit!

When did he get over here?! "Yeah, Jr. here was just tellin me about you mackin on the blueberry at home. That's a laugh!" She answers. So blunt. "Eh, Er. I.. Karkat look what you have done! This is a private conversation topic and not only have you told someone about it, you told her of all people! This is quite the triggering situation and I must warn you about the possible triggers that may occur from your response." And we lost him. Meenah rolls her eyes and puts her hands on her hips. Nepeta looks at me as if to ask what we should do. I'm getting sick of watching her shut him up, but flesh contact seems to be the best stop to it... I whisper to Meenah what has been working to shut him up and she raises her eyebrows at Nepeta. But she lets out a small sigh and takes a step to him. "And therefore if you continue to behave in such a mannerrr-" I cover my mouth to try and hold in the laughter, I think Nepeta is the same but I can't really focus on anything other then the fact that Meenah just grabbed his ass. "Holy shit." I whisper to myself. "Oh my god, your right. He does shut up when you touch him. Thanks for testing it first girly." Meenah says after stepping back.  
"M-Meenah that is no way to behave, especially when-" he starts again. "I ain't afraid to go further if you wanna keep talking." She cuts him off and glares. His lips press together and he walks away, his face still red as a cherry. I'm bent over, trying to keep in the laughter still. Poor Kankri, he is so conservative but he keeps getting molested practically. "Don't I get a high five or something?" She teases, I hold out my hand and so does Nepeta. "Aw shit the girlfriend knows. Run bitches, run while you can." She says at the sight of Aranea. We book it back to the couch where Gamzee seems to me sleeping. Nepeta pounced onto his lap, landing like a cat. What other way would she of all people land? "Waaake uuup Gamzee~" She purrs, slowly sticking her nails in his leg. "Gahrgf!... Heh, can't a tired mother fucker get some shut eye?" He asks. "Not right now you can't. I need you to be awake for this." She answers and hops back go the ground. "Karkitten, I need you to sit in the middle here. I'll be right back. I sit down and watch her skip over to Sollux. She points at us and then goes over to Feferi as Sollux sits next to me. Then Feferi next to him, he puts an arm around her. Then one by one she gets everyone else organized behind the couch. Everyone's relative is behind them and all couples are set as close together as they can be. She sits in front of everyone with a sketch pad. "No way Nep! I'm getting out the camera!" Meulin says and leaves her spot. She sets up a nice camera on a tripod and turns on the timer. "Your in this picture to!" She commands as she speeds we way back to her spot. Nepeta hops on my lap but moves her way behind me. I scooch forward to make room and she puts her arms around my neck. I just give a grin to the camera, since I hardly smile as it is.

She springs up to look at the picture. She grabs the camera off of the tripod and hops back on the couch for us all to see it.

Gamzee on the far left, me next to him with Nepeta sort of between us but also behind me, Sollux next to me with his arm around Feferi. Behind the couch Kurloz is behind Gamzee leaning on the couch, Meulin next to him with one arm laced in his and the other is reaching around Kankri and Aranea who is hugging him, and is messing with Mituna's hair again. Meenah behind Feferi, flipping off the camera with a hand on her hip.

I smile at the funny picture. "Meulin can we go to a photo shop on the way to the air port?" Nepeta asks. "Of coarse!" She answers. I continue to look at the picture. Its such a good memory.

I was actually enjoying myself. Just like in the sketches of us she did before. This is so amazing for her. I looked up the school, they only accept 1 student to apply early like this, one year there was such a tie they let in 2 but 1 dropped out. Its a huge honor for her and I am insanely

proud of her. And I know it's selfish but part of me wishes she didn't make it.

I know I'm gonna be starting school the same time as her, but it feels so much worse.

I guess it's for the best though. If we split up the way I thought we would it would hurt more, drifting like that. So it's better this way. But then why does it still hurt so much?  
-Later-  
Meulin is talking with her friends, the car is ready, and I just put the last bag into the trunk.

Nepeta and I are standing behind the car awkwardly. "I'm really gonna miss you." She says.

We are both staring at the ground. "Gonna miss you too. Listen, I know things that happening in high school are probably forgettable. So, I-" I begin. "No, I told you not to get me anything." She cuts me off while shaking her head. "Is it a problem if it's free? At Christmas the only thing I paid for was paint.. Kankri pulled some strings and I used this old silver charm from when I was a kid to make them." I reply. I pull out a set of rings from my pocket and hold them out to her. "I made some symbols for them too. Just so we can remember." I continue. The one I give her has a slash on it that has 3 drips of blood. "Just like at Christmas." She smiles a calm smile and looks it over.

"And you always have something with that funny looking heart now, so I went with that." I say.

She slides it on her middle finger and smiles. "Now I can think of you every time I need to flip someone off." She giggles. "Heh, perfect." I chuckle. She shocks me but forcefully pulling me into a hug with her arms around my neck and my shirt gripped in her fists. "I love you." She whispers.

I wrap my arms around her waist and smile. Pretty fucking sad smile I think. "I love you to." I reply, letting a tear escape. She sniffles and loosens our hug so we can stare at each other.

"No tears ok Nep?" I ask. "What about you?" She giggles, wiping a tear off of my face.

"Heh. Shut up.." I reply. We both start lightly laughing. "Time to go Nepeta." Meulin says with a gentle look on her face. "Ok." She replies and walks over to the passenger side of the car.

I follow her over and open the door for her. "Bye Kar..kitty." She says.

"I thought it was kitten." I ask. "I like the old name better." She replies and kisses me quickly. "Tell me how it goes." I sat after closing the door behind her. She just smiles and waves with the back of her hand so I can see the ring. Sollux puts a hand on my shoulder as they begin to drive off. "It will be fine Kk." He says. I watch then get out of sight and see her turning around in her seat to wave one last time. "Yeah. I know."


	19. Chapter 19: Teaser

It's been two years since I last saw her. I all but forgot. I haven't been hanging onto the memories, and I haven't been depressed (for more then a week) about her being gone. But I know I can never forget how I felt about her. Weather those feelings are still here or not, they are carved into my brain.

I still have the ring, I keep it in my dresser.

Right now I am in Boston. Not to see her though. It's just for part summer vacation.

It's just me, Sollux, Feferi, and Gamzee. Back to the way it was in high school I guess.

Feferi's parents have connections and are letting us all come out here to study at museums. Not that we are going to. At first I thought that I might see Nepeta somewhere. But It's such a long shot I gave up the idea on day one. We have only been out here for a few days though, I might get my hopes up again by accident but I doubt it.

What sucks is that Feferi actually did drag us to an art museum. I'm bored as hell but it's something to do I guess, and we are going to lunch after this so I might as well put up with it.

I sit down on one of those benches they have in here for the lazy or bored people like me.

More people come in. Great. Judging by how loud the 3 of them are already this is going to be a very annoying day for me. "Guys shoosh! We're supposed to be quiet in museums." A sweet high voice says to the other to. My eyes widen. It can't be. It isn't.. I brush it off.

"Come on Nep it's not like anyone really cares about that anyway." A more condescending toned girl replies. Wait. Did she just say.. I turn to look at them. It is Nepeta. Nepeta is actually here!

I stand up, "Thomething wrong Kk?" Sollux asks. I ignore him and walk over to the girls.

"Nepeta?" I ask. She turns to me and her face lights up.

**Ok, a lot of people have been asking about a continuation **

**This is kind of the teaser because I am planning on making it and I have a good idea for how it will go. BUT I have another big idea I am working on so I do not know when I will continue this.**

**And just a heads up I will have a different name for that story but I will update this one to let you all know what it is called if you are interested.**

**And thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, or followed this story.**

**There are a few things about it I would change but I don't feel like it so just know the next thing I post will hopefully be even better.**

**Bye guys!**


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